"Incel" Isn't The Insult You Think It Is

This essay is on the pervasive use of the term “incel” directed towards men in contexts that have nothing to do with with their ability to get sex, or attractiveness to women.

Most often, this word is used to shame men who dare to think outside the narrowly defined parameters of the modern Woke Agenda.

In today’s world, woke liberals behave more like prudish, 18th century Puritans than the “progressive”, “tolerant”, “accepting” hippie love children they pretend to be.

Questioning any mainstream woke narrative, no matter how innocently or respectfully, will instantly get you labeled as an “other”, then shunned, and finally, dismissed. 

Calling a man an “incel” is a woke way of taunting, “You can’t get laid!”, which is a remarkably un-woke thing to say to someone.

It’s an insult one would expect from a high school bully, more than an adult liberal.

First off all, it suggests that men’s value should be measured by their ability to sexually dominate women.

By that reasoning, women are objects, that men can fuck to prove their masculinity.

The same social justice bullies that accuse men of being incels, use loaded terms like “toxic masculinity”, but can’t see the irony.

The Sexually Active Incel

I am not now, nor have I ever been, an incel, shorthand for “involuntary celibate”. 

Like most men, I’ve had ups and downs with women, including bad first dates, awkward sexual experiences, and breakups that took me longer to get over than the actual relationship.

However, I’ve also enjoyed a consistent string of relationships, of various types, with women of different ages, races, ethnicities, etc. for my entire adult life.

I’ve lived with women long term, met their families, discussed marriage, children, and future plans many times. 

My experiences with many different types of women are the reason why I’m able to write so comprehensively about relationships.

I’ve dated women from countries all over the world, ages from 23 to 43, Greek, Indigenous, Swedish, American Black, and everything in between.

For more on some of my dating adventures, see my posts “5 Things I Learned About Game From Dating A Sex Worker” and “5 Surprises From Dating A 40 Year Old Feminist”.

My varied experiences provide the ability to relate to many different ages and types of men, also from all over the world.

The comments of many of my posts demonstrate how many men, all over the world, connect with my observations.

Sticks and Stones

Despite being an attractive man, with a varied and healthy sexual history, I’m regularly disparaged as an “incel”.

Angry female commenters hurl the pejorative at me, on posts where I openly discuss having and romantic relationships with women, and so doesn’t even make sense.

It’s not supposed to.

Women care more about their emotions than reality, which explains why the truth is such a nebulous concept for them, and also why they are so poor at math.

Calling me an incel has nothing to do with my sexual prowess.

It’s used to belittle and debase me, (or anyone it’s used against) in such a way that I can’t respond.

Labelling a man an “incel” is like kicking him in the balls.

It strikes at the core of his manhood,

renders him helpless to retaliate,

and there is no equivalent action the man can take to cause a commiserate amount, or type of, damage.

There’s no counterpunch to being called an incel.

The only possible response for the man is to start justifying his sexual attractiveness, and at that point, he’s already lost. His assailant has succeeded in deflecting, and changing the subject.

The Evolution of the Incel

As terms do, the word “incel” has evolved past it’s original meaning.

Once used to describe online communities of lonely, sexually frustrated men, it’s now simply shaming language.

It’s not about his sexual experience, the use of this label is intended to embarrass him into shutting up.

It’s a predictable response thrown around by people who feel they are losing an argument. 

An “incel” is a man who has called women, or Woke Culture in general, out on its bullshit.

Like other empty words used to shut people up when they are making too much sense, like “racist”, “Nazi”, and “Karen”. It’s overused to the point that it has lost its teeth. 

Shaming Language

According to self-righteous liberals, “shaming” is absolutely wrong, unless the target is a man’s height, penis size, or ability to get sex from women. 

It’s shaming language.

It’s deflection.

It’s meaningless. 

-Solitary Beast