5 Things I Learned About Game From Dating A Sex Worker
I recently went on THE BEST date of my entire life, with a beautiful woman from Tinder.
At 5’1, she was tiny: petite, and beautiful.
She had dark, exotic features, full lips, and flawless skin. At 26, she was at the perfect age where women have lived enough adult life to be mature and interesting, but still youthful, giggly, firm, and fun.
Her name was Leilani.
We matched one weekday morning while I was at my desk “suicide swiping” (swiping right on every profile without reading the bio or even looking at the photos) through Tinder, while pretending to be working.
When you match with someone on Tinder, the screen explodes into celebratory graphics, announcing,
“You matched with (person’s name)!”,
making a lazy way to waste time at work feel like an accomplishment.
Introduction
In terms of dating and relationships, “game” can be defined as knowing what someone wants, and simply giving it to them.
When men study game, we’re learning what behaviors trigger attraction in women, then implementing those skills in interacting with them.
As such, I often feel like I’m performing a routine when I’m talking to women, like a synchronized swimmer or Olympic gymnast.
I’m focused on hitting my cues:
a little playful teasing- ✅
seeming fascinated by her life- ✅
initiating physical contact with a light touch- ✅
Every movement is executed at the precise moment.
Seducing a woman is an act of slowly building attraction, like a bringing a kettle to simmer before coming to raging boil.
On a date, I’m running plays like a highly trained quarterback.
Meanwhile, my companion sits back, relaxed, simply existing.
She gets to decide if she is attracted enough, entertained enough, challenged enough for the date to progress further.
The fact that she looks half decent, and has turned up at the bar is enough.
I’ve been on dates with attractive women, and I’ve enjoyed myself.
However, I’ve never had the feeling of being on the receiving end of “game”.
That is, until my date with a woman who seduces men as a profession, Leilani.
She happened to be in Salt Lake City during the popular Sundance Film Festival, “on business”.
After we matched, she initiated conversation with the first message, and invited me out for drinks.
I was initially hesitant to meet up.
I wasn’t clear on whether our date was a “business meeting”, or a casual date off the clock. I considered that she might be offended if I asked if she was expecting money in exchange for her company that evening.
I was also worried if this was some kind of shady set up.
I had visions of meeting up with a sexy young woman… then having a broad shouldered, heavily tattooed, Russian pimp step out of the shadows and shake me down for my wallet and watch- or some other violent fate.
My safety was at stake, but I shrugged it off.
Lucky for me, and for you, the reader: I have no problem risking my life to hang out with attractive women.
Her Tinder profile photos were alluring, and I was free that evening.
She reached out first: “Hey love, would you like to meet up for drinks?”
I texted back: “Sure. How about Bar X, tonight at 9?”
She agreed, and we had a date.
Shit Gets Real
At 9 pm on the dot, a pretty, petite woman with long eyelashes and flowing, beautiful hair walked into the bar.
I was captivated immediately.
She was sexy, fun to talk to, interesting, (most important): seemingly very interested in me.
I had the feeling that her girlish laughter and light touches on my arm were elements of her own playbook, a skill she picked up in her line of work.
I kept the conversation easy and lighthearted.
The attraction between us was palpable.
After one drink at the first bar, I led her through the streets of downtown Salt Lake, stopping for cocktails at a handful of my favorite spots. She threaded her arm through mine as we walked and talked.
She asked me questions and waited attentively for my answer, sitting demurely, but with her body turned to me as a sign of interest.
Her undivided attention felt amazing, and heightened my interest.
I knew she was running game, and I loved it.
A woman in Leilani’s profession understands EXACTLY how to get a man’s attention and turn him on. She executed those actions perfectly. It was masterful.
That was the unique thing about this date that separated Leilani from all other women I’ve dated.
Most women simply showed up and waited for me to entertain them.
My date with a sex worker was an enlightening experience.
I learned volumes about myself, women, and the dating game, just from one evening with this beautiful, seductive woman.
5 Lessons I Learned From Getting “Gamed”
1. Femininity Is A Rare Commodity
Sitting across from this attractive woman, I was struck by how feminine she was, and how rarely I experience that.
My date was dolled up in mascara, lipstick, and shiny, long, hair. She smelled sultry and floral, a mixture of her perfume, shampoo, and all the lotions and potions women use to adorn themselves.
I realized I don’t spend enough time in the company of soft, feminine women.
I work in industrial equipment and hang out at the gym on weekends.
I’m not around women much in my daily life, not to mention sexy women with long hair, soft skin, and makeup.
A lot of women wear short hair, no makeup, no perfume (their choice) and that’s fine.
However, the contrast between the complete absence of femininity in many modern women caused me to appreciate Leilani even more.
2. Eye Contact Is Powerful
There were times when the conversation lulled.
Rather than scramble to keep her talking, I would sit with the brief silence and meet her eyes with mine.
Leilani would hold my gaze confidently, with a bemused look sparkling in her eyes, not speaking.
This happened a handful of times where we just sat together, looking into each others eyes briefly, before continuing with typical first date questions and playful banter.
In those moments, we began to forge a silent connection. I could feel the heat of attraction building between us.
It was incredibly sexy.
3. Repetition Is The Mother of Skill
After our evening together, I replayed the date in my head, like an athlete watching game film.
There were many things I executed well, which made me feel very proud of myself.
I’ve come a long way from my days of getting friend-zoned by average looking women.
I also identified a few areas that I can improve.
Overall, I did well, and the date ended successfully:
At our third bar, Leilani put her hand on my thigh softly.
“… Do you want to come back to my hotel room, for a glass of wine?”, she offered.
Within minutes we were rolling around in bed.
I believe that I was able to do so well because I’ve been intentionally practicing dating, conversation, and social skills.
I’m not above taking women I’m only barely attracted to on dates, just hone my technique.
I’ve used these inexpensive dates to spend a few hours practicing confident body language, self-assured eye contact, and playful charm.
In these instances, the stakes are low because the women are not my physical ideal type.
I’m able to keep my cool and hone my skills without my emotions being engaged.
My performance in the fundamentals of game have improved as a result.
I was able to show those other women a good time, but those dates were batting practice.
Once I was sitting next to the kind of woman I really desire, it was game time and I was ready.
4. Preparation Is Everything
I wouldn’t have been ready to successfully attract a woman like that without investing in hours upon hours of preparation.
Leilani was clearly very physically attracted to me from the beginning.
As she walked up to me in the bar the first time, her eyes widened in anticipation. (Sometimes you’re just EXACTLY a certain girl’s type.)
I could tell by the way she looked at me that she was enjoying what she was seeing.
As the evening continued, her attraction continued to rise.
She turned her body towards me, she scooted closer to me in the booth of the bar, she touched my thigh and looked deeply into my eyes as we talked.
Leilani responded to me that way because of all the time I’ve spent studying social skills, getting haircuts, buying stylish clothes, and bodybuilding to create a strong, athletic frame.
If I had met her two years before, maybe even 6 months before, I wouldn’t have known what to do, and I likely would have completely blown it.
All the rejections, failed relationships, and ghosting I’d been through over the last few years since my last long term relationship, prepared me to be a confident, centered, muscular guy on that date.
I felt like Tom Brady at kick off: well-prepared, at the top of my game, absolutely ready.
I still have work to do, but I sat there with by chest puffed out like a superhero.
I was so proud of myself for being prepared.
5. It Feels Amazing To Be The Center of Someone’s Attention
All books about social skills, pick up, seduction, and even the Bible pound this over and over.
It’s simple, but hardly anyone does it, because we all want to go on and on about ourselves.
People enjoy talking about themselves.
People enjoy being asked questions that they can answer in a way that makes them seem interesting, successful, attractive, or paints them in a positive light.
I’ve practiced this incessantly on dates, and in all social situations.
With Leilani, I was on the receiving end of patient, dedicated attention.
I loved it.
I made sure to mirror that and give her the same attentive gaze as she spoke about growing up in Hawaii, and the events that brought her to the mainland US.
I give (or try to) that type of attention to others, but I don’t receive it that often.
People love talking about themselves, and hardly anyone, outside of the PUA community, or guys that do sales, read about social skills.
The way that Leilani listened as I spoke made me like her even more.
Now that I realize how powerful listening is, I’m resolved to use it that much more in my daily life.
In Conclusion
I got into PUA and seduction skills to get better with women.
I wanted sex and relationships with the type of women I’d always dreamed about being able to attract.
My journey into learning pickup gave me that, but it has been rewarding far beyond just being able to seduce women. (Although that is a huge benefit.)
I’ve learned more about the truth of human behavior and human psychology in the last few years of learning game than I did in my previous lifetime, over 30 years before.
Leilani was just one chapter in that book.
She taught me a lot during our date with her confident flirting, body language, and eye contact- not to mention in the sweaty, lustful sex that followed in her hotel room.
After my impressive execution on the date, I made sure to end the night with an equally powerful performance in the sheets.
Leilani was just as amazed by my work in both areas.
;-)
-Solitary Beast