5 Things I Learned From Dating My Dream Girl
I’ve spent the last 6 months in an amazing relationship with my 10/10 dream woman.
We met on a dating app, saw each other twice, then she ghosted me for about 8 months. (Read “Solitary Beast Fumbles His Dream Girl")
In the time that we weren’t talking, I put myself to work, focusing on completely rebuilding myself in all areas: career, social life, fitness, and spiritually.
I read books about attraction, seduction, abandonment trauma, and goal setting.
I started a podcast about daring and spirituality.
I pursued other women, practiced seduction skills, took up trail running, and indoor soccer.
When my dream girl texted me out of the blue, nearly a year later, I was a new and improved version of the man she had originally been attracted to.
We’ve been dating for 6 months.
Here’s what I’ve learned.
It was all worth it. The years of weight training, running, learning seduction skills, all the swiping, frustrating conversations that went nowhere, getting ghosting, unmatched, and ignored by women I wasn’t even attracted to. All that effort was like climbing a mountain to marvel at the view on top. I would go through all that bullshit again to be in this relationship with this woman.
It’s not about the woman. Jim Rohn taught that the value of any endeavor is not about what you GET out of it, but what you BECOME from it. Being in a loving relationship, enjoying fun dates, special moments, and great sex is awesome. The best part is being a man that can could attract, and keep, a smart, sexy woman that has a lot of other options.
The dating market “sucks” because the best women are in relationships. Attractive, fun, feminine women don’t stay single for long. For example, my dream girl was in a long term relationship for 10 years, from her mid-20s, to about 6 months before we met on a dating app. When her previous relationship ended, she took a few months to move out and heal emotionally before trying to date again. She downloaded Bumble, and only had her profile active for 3 days before turning it off.
“It was overwhelming” she said.
She is a fit, pretty woman with a good career, a beautiful smile, and warm, feminine personality. Women like that get bombarded on dating apps. They can’t handle the avalanche of likes and messages from horny guys.
So many other women are fat, sarcastic, and bitchy that guys snap up the good ones immediately.
There’s plenty of “good women” in the US that enjoy cooking, romance, sex, and have pleasant attitudes- but they get snapped up quick by men who see their value.
Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready. People say that “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity”. Build yourself into the most attractive version that you can, and keep improving. When I met my dream girl, I was lean and muscular, I owned a home, a car, and a motorcycle. I had interesting hobbies, a friend group, and good social skills. I still have a lot of work to do to self-improve. However, it was enough to attract a special woman into my life. If I had been 40 pounds overweight, unemployed, shy and awkward, we probably wouldn’t have even matched on the app at all, not to mention meeting up for a date.
Most men want to be in a loving relationship with a woman they are genuinely attracted to and enjoy being with.
If that’s you, commit to building yourself into a guy that can attract, and keep, the type of woman you want to be with. It’s worth it.
I’m happy I dated women I wasn’t that attracted to. Skill in any area takes practice. There are many good books on masculinity, dating, sex, and attraction, and you should read them. However, there’s no substitute for real life experience.
When I was actively dating, I treated it like a job.
I knew I wanted to be with someone special, and I took it seriously.
I researched the best material on how to attract women, build rapport, and seduce women into bed. I went on as many dates as possible, trying different approaches, outfits, venues, ages and races of women, etc. The result is a vast database of knowledge in dealing with women. I know from hard won experience what works for me, and what doesn’t.
Even if a woman isn’t your ideal dating partner, she can still be a fun companion and a valuable learning experience. Treat her well, get her to open up to you, make her laugh and blush. Practice texting styles, frequency of messages, etc. Try different approaches of going for the kiss, experiment in bed, have fun going on dates, and sharing new experiences.
Over the years, I dated several women that my attraction level was 4 or 5 out of 10.
The point is to be respectful, get experience, and have fun.
If you never work on the kinks in your game, you’ll choke and screw it up with women you do actually like.
Conclusion
Obviously, I have no idea what will happen with this woman.
It doesn’t matter.
I’m having fun in the moment, and I honestly can barely believe a woman like this exists.
Black pill podcasters (myself included) told me that all women were vicious, bitter, bloodsuckers and “dream killers” that only dated millionaires and ripped pro-athletes.
Here I am, average height, average income, blue collar career, and I’ve attracted an incredible lady into my life (for now).
I’m glad I never gave up.