Never Give Up: 5 Things I Learned From Dating My Dream Girl
I have now been in a loving, fun, nearly perfect relationship with my 10/10 dream woman.
First off, she’s gorgeous.
Lustrous, dark curls frame her warm, sepia toned eyes, soft lips, and long eyelashes.
She flashes a million megawatt smile at me when I make dirty jokes under my breath.
Dream Girl watches Top Chef and invites me over to try new recipes she discovered on this week’s episode.
I am smitten, to say the least.
Ghosted Then Redeemed
We met on a dating app, saw each other twice, then she ghosted me for a long, tortuous, 8 months. (Read “Solitary Beast Fumbles His Dream Girl")
In the time that we weren’t talking, I put myself to work, focusing on completely rebuilding myself in all areas: career, social life, fitness, and spiritually.
I read books about attraction, seduction, abandonment trauma, and goal setting.
I started a podcast about dating and spirituality, and changed the of my blog to Salt Lake Single Guy.
I pursued other women, practiced seduction skills, took up trail running, and indoor soccer.
When my dream girl texted me out of the blue, nearly a year later, I was a new and improved version of the man she had originally been attracted to.
We’ve now been dating for 6 months.
Here’s what I’ve learned.
It was all worth it.
Years of weight training, running, learning seduction skills.
All the swiping, frustrating conversations that went nowhere, getting ghosting, unmatched, and ignored by women I was barely attracted to.
That effort was like investing hours climbing a mountain, just to marvel at the view on top, turn around, and walk back down.
Some things are worth it, just for the story.
I would crawl on my belly, through a foot of stinking bullshit over again to be in this relationship with this woman. And it’s not about this woman.
It’s not about the woman.
Jim Rohn taught that the value of any endeavor is not about what you GET out of it, but what you BECOME from it.
Being in a loving relationship, enjoying fun dates, special moments, and sweaty, passionate sex is awesome.The best part is BEING a man that can could attract, and keep, a smart, sexy woman that has a lot of other options.
The dating market “sucks” because the BEST women are in relationships.
Attractive, fun, feminine women don’t stay single for long. As in, not more than 24- 48 hours, max.
My dream girl was in a long term relationship for 10 years, from her mid-20s, to about 6 months before we met on a dating app.
When her previous relationship ended, she took a few months to move out and heal emotionally before trying to date again.
One weekend, she downloaded Bumble. Her profile was only active for THREE DAYS before she turned it off.
“It was overwhelming!” she said.
Dream Girl is a fit, pretty woman with a good career, a beautiful smile, and warm, feminine personality.
Women like that get bombarded on dating apps.
They can’t handle the avalanche of likes and messages from horny guys.
So many other women are fat, sarcastic, and bitchy, etc., that eligible guys snap up the good ones immediately.
There’s PLENTY of “good women” (in the US) that enjoy cooking, romance, sex, and have pleasant attitudes.
They get snapped up quickly (within hours) by men who see their value.
STAY ready so you don’t have to GET ready
You may have heard people say that “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity”.
Build yourself into your most attractive version, and keep improving.
When I met my dream girl, I was lean and muscular, I owned a home, a car, and a motorcycle. I had interesting hobbies, a friend group, and good social skills.
I still have a lot of work to do to self-improve. However, it was enough to attract a special woman into my life.
If I had been 40 pounds overweight, unemployed, shy and awkward, we probably wouldn’t have even matched on the app at all, not to mention meeting up for a date.
Deep down, all men want to be in a loving relationship with a woman they are genuinely attracted to, and enjoy being with.
Everything else is just cope.
Commit to building yourself into a guy that can attract, and keep, the type of woman you want to be with.
It’s worth it.
I’m HAPPY I dated women I wasn’t that attracted to.
Repetition is the mother of skill.
There are many good books on masculinity, dating, sex, and attraction, and you should read them.
However, there’s no substitute for real life experience.
When I was actively dating, I treated it like a job.
I knew I wanted to be with someone special, and I took it seriously.
I researched the best material on how to attract women, build rapport, and seduce women into bed.
I went on as many dates as possible, trying different approaches, outfits, venues, ages and races of women, etc.
The result is a vast database of knowledge in dealing with women.
I know from hard won experience what works for me, and what doesn’t.
Even if a woman isn’t your ideal dating partner, she can still be a fun companion and a valuable learning experience.
Treat her well, get her to open up to you, make her laugh and blush.
Practice texting styles, frequency of messages, etc.
Try different approaches of going for the kiss, experiment in bed, have fun going on dates, and sharing new experiences.
Over the years, I dated several women that my attraction level was 4 or 5 out of 10.
It’s an awkward situation to be in, but I wouldn’t feel so confident in my current, ideal relationship, if I hadn’t invested that time dialing in my game.
Think of it like the pain of dieting and lifting weights for the glory of looking like a Greek statue with your shirt off.
The point is to be respectful, get experience, and have fun.
If you never work on the kinks in your game, you’ll choke and screw it up with women you do actually like.
Conclusion
Obviously: I have no idea what will happen with this woman.
We could be together happily for 10 more years, 10 more months, or 10 more minutes.
I don’t know.
It doesn’t matter.
I’m having fun in the moment, and I honestly can barely believe a woman like this exists.
Black pill podcasters (myself included) preached that all women were vicious, bitter, bloodsuckers and “dream killers” that only dated millionaires and ripped pro-athletes.
We were wrong.
Here I am, average height, average income, blue collar career, and I’ve attracted an incredible lady into my life (for now).
I’m glad I never gave up.