3 Things I Learned From Dating Sugar Babies
A recent commenter expressed interest in any new insights or discoveries I’d gained through my experiences dating Sugar babies.
There have been many.
- Comment From my post, “Any Woman You Want?”
You rent your dream super car for the weekend (great idea).
After years of fantasizing, you finally wrap your hands around the wheel, feeling the butter soft leather seats, wind in your hair, and your heart racing as you hit top speed.
At the end of the weekend, you return it.
There’s no “illusion”.
You actually drove the car, and enjoyed every minute of it.
My experiences dating, and sleeping with (previously) unattainable, very attractive women, has been truly eye opening.
While I’ve had success in “vanilla” (non-sugar) relationships before, with many different types of women: different races, different ages, and even on different continents, sugar babies are a completely different beast.
For those who don’t already know, I’ve previously lived and traveled all over the United States, and the world:
3 trips to Europe, including two different visits to see women I was dating. Once to visit a girlfriend in London, and another to stay with a girlfriend in Sweden
a few trips to Latin America,
and a stint living and traveling around Southeast Asia for 2 years, including teaching English in Vietnam
Visiting a girlfriend London in 2018
In my travels, I have had one night stands, passionate flings, and two long term (4- 5 year) relationships with live in girlfriends.
While I don’t claim to be Wilt Chamberlain, I’ve been blessed to experience lots of fun, dates, relationships, and sex, with many different women, in my 39 years.
With my then-girlfriend and my beloved old dog. RIP Cowboy 🙏, 2019
I thought I’d seen it all.
When I considered stepping into the “Sugar Bowl”, as it’s called, I was pretty sure I knew most of what there was left to know about dating and relationships.
Of course, there was plenty left for me to learn, with much more to go.
You Still Need To Be Attractive
What’s different about the sugar daddy game is all the pretense, performance, and frankly, bullshit, of traditional dating, gets skipped.
Of course, being charming, fit, and understanding how women feel attraction still helps immensely.
People who have never experienced sugar dating, and therefore can’t fully understand how it works, somehow can’t grasp that women treat you differently (better) when you are:
Attractive
Charming
Physically Fit
Understand social skills,
regardless of where or how you met them.
Mountains of scientific research proves what those of us with simple common sense already know.
Charming, likeable, physically attractive people get treated differently (better) in all areas of life.
A well-dressed, in shape, confident guy that can make women feel comfortable, gets a completely separate reception than a slovenly dude in stained superhero t-shirt, everywhere he goes on the planet.
Potential sugar babies do not treat a soft, disheveled, middle aged slacker the same way they treat his a handsome, fit, 39 year old counterpart.
Just like nobody else treats those two guys exactly the same.
Attractive, confident people command respect, get more attention, and curry more affection from other human beings.
Obviously, sugar arrangements follow the same patterns of normal human behavior.
Roles Reversed
The biggest difference between the “Sugar Bowl”, as it’s called, and vanilla dating is how FAST and how EFFORTLESS it is to meet not just “cute”, “average”, or “decent” looking people, but women I could honestly call “stunning”.
As a sugar baby, an attractive young woman has more to gain than “a wet tail” (as my grandmother would colorfully say).
She is anticipating luxury experiences, designer gifts, and cash.
As a result, women on sugar daddy websites, like my favorite, SugarDaddyMeet.com, are driven to make a connection.
the best sugar daddy/ sugar baby dating site so far SugarDaddyMeet.com
On traditional apps, I’m shocked if an unappealing single mom messages back.
However, in what feels like an experience in the Twilight Zone, long legged, head turning, jaw dropping, Hollywood starlet quality beauties reach out to me first.
People who look like Instagram models (some are) return my texts within minutes, respond to messages with heart eyes and kiss emojis, and, best of all, are eager, and enthusiastic to meet up when I suggest a date.
It’s amazing.
*For readers who have not been following along—Yes, I fully understand that the eager young bunnies are motivated by the financial aspect of the arrangement.
I don’t care.
I appreciate the attention, and enjoy the experience.
2. A Transactional Relationship Is Still A Relationship
If you’ve ever been a regular at a local cafe, where your favorite barista knows your name, and has your order memorized, you have experienced, and relished in, the pleasure of a “transactional relationship”.
In reality, most people enjoy plenty of friendly, fulfilling relationships with other human beings, where the main underlying purpose of the interaction is some type of business transaction.
It’s possible to tease your barber about his favorite team blowing a big game, spend 45 minutes chatting about your lives, hobbies, and philosophies of life, then pay him for the haircut- with no problem.
You walk out of the shop feeling great.
You just had a great time shooting the breeze with a person who’s company you enjoy.
It would be ridiculous for a bitter passerby to observe your friendly exchange and scream: “He’s only being nice to you because you pay him!”
“He’s ONLY being nice because you PAY HIM!!”
This is not the same as seeing a sugar baby, or even an escort, regularly.
In both cases, you are spending hours together, and are sharing physical intimacy with them.
However, if you don’t understand that economics and a genuine social connection can, and do co-exist, you’ve either been living in a bubble, or have somehow never had a favorite bartender, barista, or cashier.
See my post “Perks Of Being A Regular In Your Local Bar”
The friendly chats, and meaningful connections we make with others, often while spending money, are an enjoyable aspect of life in a community.
The Real Reason You’re Upset
Personally, I was bored with the “normal” experience on dating apps (all of us are familiar with what that entails).
I am willing to leverage my success and hard work to have experiences I truly enjoy.
The reader is welcome to feel differently, and hurl vitriol in the comment section, if he chooses.
Consider that the frustration you feel may be rooted in the fact that you are also deeply frustrated (possibly even depressed) at your experiences in online dating, and you haven’t found (or even looked) for an alternate strategy that fits your situation.
3. Sugar Dating Levels The Playing Field
As I’ve explained before, the introduction of a financial aspect to the relationship, is one of the only ways to level the playing field between a man, and a very attractive, sexy, young woman.
For more on my idea of leverage in sugar daddy/ sugar baby relationships, see the video below:
Even the mythical “Chads” and “Tyrones” that Red Pill adherents drool over get rejected 10 times as often as they get accepted by women.
Additionally, if you’ve ever known a guy like this real life, you understand that while they may be tall and naturally handsome, the real key to their confidence is that they are relentless in approaching women, and they’ll take any scraps they can get.
This is where we get the stereotype of the “Alpha widow” and average, or below average, looking women with unrealistically high standards.
Very attractive men (“Chads and Tyrones”) sleep with older, traditionally less attractive women all the time.
Top guys don’t get top attractive partners all the time either.
In fact, the trademark confidence that these men are known for, is actually built from experience and positive feedback of sleeping with women that you or I might not even look at twice.
For readers who are less experienced, and get too much information from the internet, I’ll state plainly:
Men that sleep with a lot of women, usually have slept with a lot of very unattractive women.
Then there is a TINY percent of the time that a woman will decide that she REALLY likes a guy, almost for no observable reason.
He can be a skinny comic book nerd, or a low paid blue collar dude with a dad bod,… some guy that seems completely unsuitable for her… but for some reason, a decently cute girl decided to give him a chance.
Most of us have experienced that a few times.
By contrast, consider how many times you have been interested in a woman, and she flat out rejected you.
For example, all the times you attempted to “cold approach” a woman.
She looks at you, bored, and deadpans,“I have a boyfriend”.
Or all the times you managed to get a woman’s number, but she never returned your messages or calls.
Not to mention the myriad of situations that a woman caught your eyes in public.
“She looks interesting”, you thought to yourself.
Maybe you considered walking over and introducing yourself.
As you consider which smooth opener to use, her eyes meet yours.
Your approach is dead in the water before it started.
With a nasty look, or a dismissive eye roll, she rejects your advance without saying a word.
In general, women are JUST NOT as interested in men, in and of themselves, as men are in women.
No pickup artist or “game” guru has ever admitted this, but it is the cold hard truth.
Men are entertainment and utility for women;
women are a NECESSITY for men.
The huge disparity in men’s interest in women, and women’s interest in men, is:
why there are millions of females doing sex work, all over the world, but close to zero heterosexual males who can make a living charging women for their services.
It’s why clubs and bars BRIBE women to attend, i.e., “Women get in free until _____”, “Women drink free until ___”. Meanwhile, the opposite NEVER happens. Men will line up around the block, wait for hours, and pay a full cover ($20-$100 USD or more) to get into bars and clubs- because women will be there.
It’s why 10 men sign up for dating apps for every 1 women that does, and even then she’s only promoting her OnlyFans
For women, a man is someone that entertains them by planning dates and outings, fixes things, and pays for luxuries she can’t afford herself, such as expensive dinners, vacations, and houses.
In her 30s, a woman might desire a man’s commitment- to end the shame of being the only one of her friends who isn’t in a relationship.
See my post “Why Men In Their Thirties Are Still Single”.
Ready to learn the 7 Secrets of Sugar Daddy dating?
Get my free PDF guide at ChanceBerryman.podia.com
Thinking Outside The Box
Even as someone who has lots of experience with women, and has invested countless hours in careful study of Attraction skills, I wasn’t previously dating model- gorgeous women.
(Ironically, now that I’ve dated a few sugar babies, I’m actually less captivated by physical beauty than I once was.
Through my sugar experiences, I understand that youth and good looks are fairly common, and easily attainable.)
As we all already know, vanilla apps skew as many as 9- 10 men to every 1 woman.
It takes more than social skills, text game, and “DHVs” to get female attention in an environment that is heavily stacked against men.
I’ve heard accounts of college age men enjoying more success on traditional apps.
However, in my opinion, dating apps are a kamikaze mission for men over 30, especially if that man desires to date younger women.
Dating apps actively prevent older men from seeing the profiles of attractive, younger women- who might be interested in them if they met in person, or through some other means.
Nearing 40 myself, I was completely done with doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.
I was ready, and financially able, to “think outside the box”, and I haven’t looked back since.
-Chance