Scammed By Sugar Babies? Comment of the Week
In a book that could be called the closest thing the Manosphere has to a Bible, author Rollo Tomassi intoned these great words:
“The closer you get to the truth, the louder women screech”
His advice sounded familiar.
It was a knowing I had often felt, but never consciously acknowledged.
The more I considered his words, the more flashbacks I had of times that women either played dumb, or brayed like obstinate mules, at a fact that seemed blatantly obvious.
I was reminded of Tomassi’s sage quote this week when long time Solitary Beast commenter, and resident feminist killjoy, “Candi G. String”, took the time to write not one, BUT TWO, lengthy replies to my posts about dating sugar babies.
In response to my article, The Quick & Dirty Way to Date Sexy Younger Women, Ms. String lambasted my decision to pursue relationships with beautiful women 15 years my junior.
She had a lot to say.
Too Young For Me?
Her diatribe asserted that adult women, in their mid-20s, who are old enough to
own cars,
hold jobs,
pay taxes,
drink alcohol,
and vote,
are somehow “too young” for a handsome man they are freely choosing to date and sleep with, for months.
The women I’ve met from sugar sites, like SugarDaddyMeet.com, meet me out at a trendy downtown dinner spot.
We sip cocktails, sample amazing food, and listen to live musicians perform.
As the night unfolds, chatting turns to flirting, flirting turns to passionate kissing, and we ultimately end up tangled together in bed.
Sometimes I host these trysts in my own bed at home.
Occasionally, I spring for a luxury hotel suite with a view of the city.
We watch movies in bed, cuddle, and of course, fuck like horny rabbits, over and over, until we’re both exhausted.
More Than Just Sex
Having sexy young women, with bubbly personalities, and almost perfect bodies, bounce on my dick like a dirt bike, is, (obviously), extremely pleasurable.
However, the emotional connection we’ve built, over the weeks and months together, is equally as fulfilling as the lustful physical aspects.
The emotional connection is what separates a sugar relationship from seeing an escort (which I’ve never done).
My time with my sugar girlfriends IS a relationship.
We talk about our lives together, sharing funny stories, and struggles, family arguments, business challenges, hopes and dreams.
The women I’ve met see arrangement dating as a way to gain experience with the finer things in life, get financial support, and mentorship, from a more experienced man.
More Than Just Money
I deeply enjoy the age gap dynamic, the feeling of showing a younger woman something new about the world.
One recent experience with this was taking one of my girlfriends to an underground sushi bar in my city.
She met me there, in heeled boots, all dolled up in make up, and a mid-riff baring cropped sweater.
I ordered edamame and warm sake to get us started.
I was distracted, looking over the menu, when, under the table, my date slid her warm, soft hand up my thigh.
That got my attention pretty quick.
When our eyes met, her face looked sheepish.
Suddenly more concerned than aroused, I asked, “…What’s wrong, baby?”
Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment
“…I don’t know how to use chopsticks”, she blushed, sheepishly.
She seemed both sexy, and adorable, all at once.
I repressed a smile.
“Lucky for you”, I winked, “You picked the perfect man to teach you”.
Long time Solitary Beast readers may know that I traveled extensively throughout Asia, and lived in Vietnam for a couple of years.
In between rounds of rice wine, I showed my sugar companion an easy trick I’ve used many times to teach Westerners how to eat with chopsticks.
My star student picked up the delicate art within minutes.
“You’re such a good teacher!”, she giggled with delight.
She tried swordfish, salmon, and eel for the first time.
Together, we finished two bottles of warm sake, then rounds of chilled tequila, as we laughed and talked.
In my experience with sugar dating, the women in question (of course) are interested in financial help (who wouldn’t be), but they also want to enjoy unique experiences, learn new things, and spend time with a higher quality man than the typical frat boys they match with on Tinder.
(I’m sure they still see men their age, and other sugar daddies.
That’s not my concern, and it’s none my business.
I don’t believe in owning women.)
My point of sharing this story is to illustrate that if our involvement was ONLY about money, both the women and me, would be better off either becoming, or seeing, escorts.
The financial gifts I provide to sugar girlfriends is a token of my appreciation for our time spent together.
In my opinion, the money makes me more attractive, but is not the only reason why a sexy young woman would want to spend time with me.
A beautiful young woman has A LOT of demands on her time:
Friends
Family
Throngs of men vying for their attention
Work
Laundry, cooking, and all the household chores we all have to find time to juggle.
My generous gift helps push me to the top of her priority list, like paying to skip the line at Disneyland.
Disneyland
Like being at Disneyland, a sugar relationship is an escape from the mundane aspects of daily life, a mini-vacation.
When I’m with my sugar girlfriends, the atmosphere is electric- fun and light.
I tingle with anticipation for DAYS before my weekend dates.
My current sugar girlfriend, also known as a “sugar baby”, see each other a handful of times a month.
In between, we check in almost daily with cute messages.
A sugar relationship is the best part of a love affair: romance, passion, affection, adventure, sweaty sex.
An arrangement sidesteps the unpleasant aspects of a “real world” relationship, such as as bickering and complaining.
An “age appropriate” woman would be sitting around, getting fat, nagging me about household chores.
I’ve lived with women in long term relationships twice before.
I never want to do it again.
When men and women cohabitate, they become more like sibling than lovers.
(For more on this, read my post, “Men and Women Shouldn’t Live Together”.)
By contrast, my sugar girlfriends and I see each other only a few evenings a month.
In between, we have time to live our own lives, and have the all distance to miss each other.
“Attraction grows in space”, wrote psychologist Chris Canwell in his book, Atomic Attraction.
Given the space to miss and wonder about each other, sugar dates are always highly anticipated, never predictable and stale, like a “real” relationship.
Conclusion
A sugar daddy relationship is a fantasy come to life.
However, this lifestyle isn’t for everybody.
It shocks the hell out of me, but kinky sex and fun dates, with very attractive women who are “too young” for a middle aged man, is a fringe activity.
I’ll freely acknowledge that it’s not for MOST people.
Most women aren’t physically attractive enough to command hundreds of dollars in exchange for a few hours of their time.
Most men don’t earn enough money to handle their own financial responsibilities, AND lavish gifts and resources on someone else.
For the less fortunate, or just more traditional, there is always true love.
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-Chance