You Don't Want Sex, You Want Approval and Validation
Writing about my experiences with transactional relationships has been opening.
First, it’s been a crash course introduction into a secret world of affluent men, and very attractive women.
From my vantage point in this parallel universe, where women that look like Hollywood starlets message me first, respond eagerly, and jump at the opportunity to meet up, the “old way” of dating seems as obsolete as commuting to a backbreaking job in a coal mine, via horse drawn carriage.
I fully understand, and have CONTINUALLY repeated, that this world is “Not For Everybody”.
Many of you that are seeking a long term girlfriend, the mother of your children, maybe even a wife, will not find a suitable candidate on any of the websites I use to meet women.
If you’re looking for that, I can’t help you, and I won’t try.
In my opinion, searching for an attractive (under age 33, long hair, healthy weight) girlfriend is a futile effort. Only a delusional idiot would waste his time looking for one.
If you haven’t noticed:
Modern women aren’t interested in serious relationships until they are completely done having the time of their lives on the cock carousel.
Even if you’re attractive enough to get laid, as I am, women make it very clear that they aren’t interested in anything more than “good vibes”.
When women are young and desirable, they’re “focusing on their career”, “enjoying being single”, indulging in “Hot Girl Summer”.
One in 10,000 men will find a wifeable female partner in any developed First World nation.
By the way, “wifeable” women in developing countries will only pretend to want to take care of you, and any potential children, because they live in grass huts with no running water.
With your passport from a wealthy industrialized nation, you represent a way out of their misery.
2. Money
If you can’t afford it, (most men can’t), then you will be automatically closed off to the idea of using a resource like finances to grease the wheels of your dating life.
I respect that, and I understand.
For most of my life, I never considered paid companionship as something I’d ever do.
I got rejected plenty of times in my life, but I could eventually meet women, even cute ones, who were interested in me.
As a result, I didn’t even think about paying women for their time.
However, I’ve gotten older, and settled into bachelor life, traditional girlfriend-boyfriend relationships don’t interest me.
I’ve done it.
They can be fun… for a while.
However, I eventually want miss my independence, my freedom, and my ability to come and go as I please. See my post “Why Men In Their Thirties Are Still Single”.
Traditional, “vanilla”, relationships always seem to follow the same predictable pattern.
I’m sure she’s a lovely person, but look at the hundreds of pounds of lumpy cellulite all over this woman’s body.
When I used to torture myself with the disaster of dating apps, this is the main type of woman I used to see.
Bait and Switch
Once a woman decides I’m worth her time,
For example,
I’m a homeowner,
a business owner,
self-published author,
am fit, intelligent, dress well,
have traveled the world, etc.)… she pulls out all the stops to make me happy.
The main strategy includes flooding me with sex, and being deferential as a little lamb.
When we see each other, she’s dressed up, face painted, smelling like a garden of roses.
This lasts for only a few weeks, before the gavel drops.
“…Where is this going??”
Suddenly, the fun, casual relationship needs a label, a definition, handcuffs around my wrist, a leash and collar around my neck.
What she really wants is security.
The ability to stop providing sex so enthusiastically, and so often.
She wants to be able to stop getting dressed up and applying makeup every time we see each other.
She wants to get fat, stop shaving her legs, and wear Crocs, as I mentioned in my article, “Men and Women Shouldn’t Live Together”.
But she can’t stop performing her circus act until I make a commitment.
Most men have been through this.
For reader comments on this common phenomenon, see my post, “Comment of the Week: Don’t Do It”.
I expect that men who read a blog about enjoying solitude and peace, would understand that I was looking for a way to enjoy female company, affection, and sex, without being asked when we are moving in together.
What I find puzzling is the waves of blue pilled readers who come to my blog, click on posts with the word “Sugar Babies” in the title, yet feel the need to share their disapproval at how I, a self-sufficient grown man, choose to interact with women.
Most of you aren’t dating, and sleeping, with very attractive women.
Most of you aren’t dating, and sleeping with, ANY women, with any regularity.
Men that are in fulfilling relationships with women (if that is even a thing) wouldn’t be reading a blog focused on the exploits of a 39 bachelor.
Men in relationships with women are at Target right now, dutifully holding her purse, walking three paces behind her (in traditional cuck boyfriend custom) wandering through the aisles.
While he wonders whether she can be convinced to fool around later, the wide-assed girlfriend they’re thankful to have, burns up his precious weekend free time, softly fingering the scented candles and bath towels.
Many of you reading this right now would KILL to be that guy.
You WISH you could find a pudgy, flyover state, 3/10 to even text you back.
In fact, you’re on the internet as we speak, searching how to “run game” on women, crossing your fingers that you can get one to “like you for you”.
You come to SolitaryBeast.com looking for answers, and get angry with me that I live in a completely different reality, and have no interest in returning to yours.
At this point in my life, I cannot relate to that desire, to be a whipped, submissive, boyfriend, with an unquenchable thirst for IPAs, and the body fat percentage of a Reddit moderator, all qualities which are apparently required to enter into a modern relationship with an American woman.
We want different things.
As such, I don’t understand you, and you can’t understand me.
You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About
However, at least I can say that I’ve experienced the other side of life.
Many of you leave seething, “know-it-all” comments about dating sugar babies, knowing full well you’ve NEVER experienced it for yourself.
It shows in the words you use and the assumptions you make.
You have no idea what it’s like to be with jaw-dropping, head turning, model quality women, in the most expensive hotels and lavish restaurants in your city.
Maybe you scoff at that image. “I don’t need all that”, you sniff to yourself.
Good for you.
At the moment, my dream includes feeling like James Bond, wearing nice shoes and an expensive watch, sipping whiskey and eating my favorite meals, with gorgeous women snuggled against me in the restaurant booth.
Not “…kinda pretty…”.
Not “ok”.
Not “cute”.
My fantasy life, which I wake up and build every single day, includes dating, and sleeping with, the most beautiful women on the planet.
I have cuddled up with tall, slender, elegant women who look like they just walked off the runway of a Victoria Secret lingerie showcase… long legs, high cheekbones, slender, fit, and not a day over 26 years old.
We shared champagne and tequila shots while we flirt and laugh about our lives- my business, her college classes, and nascent modeling career.
After flirting and giggling, we head up to a lavish suite at some of the nicest hotels in my city.
The kinds of places with rooftop swimming pools, plush suites, and stunning views.
I’m not going back to getting ghosted and flaked on by mid single moms from swipe apps… no matter how many disgruntled comments you guys leave.
It helps to remember that, while you feel you know me, through my writing, podcasts, book, and Youtube videos; unless you have booked a coaching call and spoken to me personally:
I don’t know who you are.
Can You Tell Me How to Date Very Attractive Women… If You’re Not Doing It
For the last year, I’ve displayed the patience of Job.
I carefully penned several posts explaining why I choose to use sugar dating at the moment, as well as explaining some of the common misconceptions most uninformed men have about transactional relationships. See my posts “How A Middle Aged Utah Handyman Dates Models” and “3 Things I Learned From Dating Sugar Babies”.
I filmed Youtube videos, answered questions, and created PDF guides detailing every aspect of the paid companionship model… yet after all that, I still get painfully uninformed hate comments.
There are thousands of blogs, books, podcasts, courses, and everything else you can think of, related to vanilla dating mildly attractive women who’ll “like you for you”.
(For the record, if you are over age 25, these women will also care what car you drive, what you do as a job, how much money you make, etc.)
Despite the face that there are multitudes of resources that better fit your needs, readers routinely skip past all the resources that would serve your interests, to come to my blog and make a big deal out of what I’m doing.
Somehow, you can’t see that it would make ZERO SENSE for me to look for the type of women I’m interested in on Tinder and Bumble.
Put plainly, if a man’s objective is to enjoy unforgettable experiences, with heart stoppingly beautiful women,
he must use a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT set of tools and strategies than a man doing $7 “coffee dates” with women that weigh more than he does.
You cant instruct me how to do something that you are not doing yourself.
You Don’t Want Sex
You guys don’t want to have passionate sex with gorgeous women.
And that’s fine.
But you need to be honest with yourself.
You care desperately about how a random woman feels about you- just because you think she’s pretty.
You lack direction, purpose, and sense of self- and you’re looking for a woman to provide it to you.
If you wanted amazing experiences with the type of women you’ve been fantasizing about since you got your first bit of testicle fuzz- you would get it the most expedient way possible.
But that’s not REALLY what you’re after.
You want to use all the thousands of hours of pick up artist “game” material you’ve watched and read, to have some kind of magical moment like in a Disney movie.
In your fantasy, you drop your can of creamed spinach at the grocery store.
It rolls down the aisle, stopping at the feet of a beautiful woman.
She smiles shyly.
You walk over, confidently, with your chest puffed out like a cartoon superhero.
In your dream scenario, your voice is somehow several octaves deeper than usual.
She smiles, and you effortlessly set a date.
A whirlwind romance ensues.
Keep waiting.
Personally, I grew tired of spending hours on dating apps, cold approaches that went nowhere, so much wasted effort, and wasted time.
Compared to that hell scape, the concept of sugar dating seemed like a life hack made in Heaven.
I respect that my position puts me in the minority of men who can afford it, and who even want to sugar date.
It’s fine if that’s not you.
If you were having such a good time with the standard practices of modern dating, you wouldn’t be reading this.
In Conclusion
I will no longer be responding to negative comments about sugar dating.
You are entitled to your opinion.
Keep it to yourself.
-Chance