Why I Became A 39 Year Old Sugar Daddy
Earlier this year, I logged on to Seeking.com, formerly known as Seeking Arrangement, to check out the sugar dating site I’d heard so much about.
I entered my city, and typical dating app stats, like my age and height, along with more unusual information, like my net worth and income.
As I scrolled through page after page of beautiful women, I felt a mixture of amazement and joy.
“My Kids Are My World”
Traditional swipe apps are a circus freak show of bad female decisions: massively overweight women, with Kool-Aid colored hair, often tattooed like sailors.
By contrast, the profiles on Seeking were like an alternate planet.
The site offered page after page of slender, elegant, model beautiful young women, each more alluring than the one before.
Like a lot of men, I was growing increasingly frustrated, and to be honest- ANGRY, at the low quality of women available on popular dating apps.
In the United States, 60% of women are overweight or obese.
In my area, the majority of profiles on apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge (T/B/H), have multiple children, bodies disfigured with ridiculous piercings and garish tattoos, and butchered short hair in colors that would look more natural in a Gatorade bottle than on a human woman.
The modern woman looks and speaks more like a Marine Corps infantryman that saw action in Fallujah, than the feminine, sexually desirable females of previous generations.
For the first time in American history, the “average woman” available to most men is not only unappealing, she’s gross.
Feminine, slim women are getting rarer and rarer in the US in general, and increasingly harder to come by on dating apps.
The most beautiful women might have a profiles on a free app, to promote their social media or OnlyFans, but they doesn’t really use these apps to meet men and go on dates, at least not for women over mid-20s.
As a result, dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, etc. are more like a shell game, or a casino, than a viable option to meet women.
See my post “Why You Only Match With Fat Girls on Tinder”.
Tinder Troubles
My troubles with Tinder started in 2017.
Skinny fat, and fresh out a long term relationship, I downloaded the revolutionary dating app Tinder for the first time, looking for a new love.
“Should be easy enough”, I shrugged to myself.
My (now) ex-girlfriend had been pretty.
She was 5’3, full figured with curvy hips and round backside, sultry dark eyes and thick, wavy black hair.
She was also 8 years younger than me, 23 when we met. I was 31.
I was attracted to her not just physically, but also for her intellect.
My girl had graduated with Honors from a top college, we had read many of the same books,
Past Performance Is No Guarantee Of Future Results
I had always had beautiful girlfriends, of every ethnicity you can name, and from all over the globe.
I considered myself handsome at the time, and even moreso today.
So when my relationship ended, I had no worries that I would be able to quickly replace my girlfriend with another younger, just as beautiful, love interest.
Confident, I uploaded my first few photos to the app.
My Tinder profile, 2019.
I was lucky to get 2- 3 matches in a week, and they were all obese.
I crafted an earnest bio, something about liking hiking and dogs, and waited for the love letters to roll in.
Ninety percent of men who have used a dating app in the last 5 years are laughing at that last sentence.
Despite my certainty, you can guess what happened.
My confidence and self-esteem eroded quickly as I waited DAYS without getting any matches.
When I did, they were older, ugly, and even then, barely messaged me back.
I did occasionally get dates during this time, but they were far between, and unreliable.
I got left on read, rejected, and ghosted more times than I could count.
The most painful aspect is the rejections where from women I would barely want to be seen with in public.
(Read my post “What To Do When Women Flake”)
I felt insecure, isolated, and lonely.
I started to wonder if I had been ugly my entire life, but somehow hadn’t realized it before.
The Only Way Out Is Through
I went on a multi-year journey of figuring out WHAT women wanted in a guy, and figuring out how to BECOME a man like that.
The almost constant wall of rejection that I was experiencing at that time, from women on dating apps, and those that I approached socially, was a clear indicator that I had plenty of room to improve.
Luckily, I did occasionally get some amounts of interest from women, like flirting, or hearing that women were asking mutual friends about me.
I had no idea what I was doing in the new world of relating to women.
As a result, I quickly blew it the handful of times women did give me a chance.
I didn’t know how to build attraction through being unavailable, creating mystery, and using masculine polarity.
Not to mention escalating sexually, or even understanding when a woman was giving me signals of interest.
This was one of the most emotionally challenging and isolated times of my entire life.
I felt lost and completely alone.
My trademark unassailable confidence was wounded and flailing under the assault of near CONSTANT rejection.
The only way I made it through that struggle was my unshakeable belief in myself, inability to quit, and deep understanding that if I never gave up, eventually my situation would HAVE to get better.
If You Work Until It Works
During that trial, I learned a quote that I still repeat today, like a mantra:
If you WORK,
until it WORKS,
it’ll work.
I wrote many of the posts on this blog during that challenging period.
It was a crucible that forged me as the man I am today.
That’s a big part of why I started coaching and helping other men in attraction skills.
I never want another brother to experience that alone.
How I Changed My Dating Life Forever
Instead of being weighed down by the wounds I suffered, I used the agony to fire me up.
I decided that I wouldn’t rest until I figured out everything about HOW attraction works, and was able to master it to my benefit.
Understanding women and attraction and overcoming this tormenting problem became the focus of my life.
I bought stacks of books by every dating coach you can name.
Every free moment, I read their words, highlighted, underlined, and read them again.
It was like being thrown in a lake of cold water.
Through these men, I learned I, like many other men, had been COMPLETELY deluded by the lies and propaganda of the modern globalist agenda.
I felt like a blind man that suddenly gained 20/20 vision in a flash of light.
I realized that the ideas that I had wholeheartedly believed, such as:
“Men and women are equal and EXACTLY the same”
“Women date the men they say they like”
“If you like a woman, tell her how you feel”
were complete bullshit, and also the POLAR OPPOSITE of what women actually want.
Books like Corey Wayne’s How to Be A 3% Man, Chris Canwell’s Atomic Attraction, and Attraction Is Not A Choice by David De’Angelo, were a shock to my system, challenging EVERYTHING I thought I knew about relationships and women.
(Read my post “3 Books to Massively Improve Your Dating & Sex Life”.)
Skinny Fat to Stud
During my deep study of the Laws of Attraction, I took up hitting the gym.
When I do something, I go all in. In my usual fashion, I fully committed: weight training 6 days a week.
I had NO IDEA what I was doing.
I just trying different ideas I pieced together from Youtube videos and articles online.
I was clueless about how to workout, how to build muscle, and what and how to eat, to get the best results.
What I lacked in knowledge, I made up with consistency.
I enjoy pushing myself, and I revel in working. As a result,
I LOVED the gym.
My dedication provided an outlet for my frustration, and filled the endless hours of free time on my hands.
Prior to the gym, I would spend long, lonely evenings lying around my house, binging useless Youtube content.
My new passion for weight training filled my evenings with locker room banter with my new gym buddies, it gave me a purpose and a goal outside of work.
Training filled the emptiness I felt from being stifled by modern dating.
This process showed me that “loneliness” is often just boredom.
(Listen to Solitary Beast podcast, “You’re Not Lonely, You’re Bored”)
As I grew stronger in the gym, I became more confident.
Due to my swelling pride and growing muscle mass, along with my growing understanding of female psychology, I started notching small wins in my dating life.
On Tinder, the tide was turning.
I started getting a consistent few dates a month, even dating a sultry, alluring sex worker, which I wrote about in my post “5 Things I Learned About Game From Dating A Sex Worker”.
Dating Apps Are For Guys That Look Good With Their Shirt Off
After a few a year of lifting, I had built powerful shoulders, a broad chest, and a muscular back (although I didn’t know anything about nutrition, so I was still high body fat compared to now).
I felt strong and sexy with my shirt off.
A friend suggested the dating app Hinge, so I decided to try the new app, and a new strategy.
I uploaded a few profile photos, including a main photo with my shirt off.
Night and Day
The difference was shocking.
My new shirtless profile, although I was the same height, same age, in the same city, with the same job, and same personality, was like being a totally different person.
I purchased the premium membership for unlimited swipes, and right swiped on everything breathing.
Likes and messages POURED in.
My DMs went from crickets to DOZENS of messages.
For the first time, decent looking women even reached out to me FIRST.
I felt like a celebrity.
Using my newfound attraction skills, I messaged the women only briefly, before asking for the date.
Suddenly, my calendar was full.
Instead of returning to an empty house, after work and the gym, I would rush home to shower and change, then race to the cocktail bar downtown to meet a new woman from Hinge.
In the first few days of uploading my first shirtless photo, I’d lined up 3- 4 dates a week.
Three or Four Dates A Week
Long story short: I was able to completely change my dating life around.
I had mastered the secrets of attraction, finally achieving the Holy Grail of seeing multiple women at a time, aka “spinning plates”.
The women ranged in age from a 27 year old yoga and ski enthusiast, to a 36 year old massage therapist.
There was a flight attendant, a freelance artist, and a tattoo apprentice tossed in as well.
I cast a wide net, wanting to try my new skills on as many women, and as many different TYPES of women, as possible.
While I was enjoying my newfound success, deep down, something was bothering me.
Not Good Enough
The women I was dating were ok, but I still wasn’t happy with the quality of women I was meeting.
Some were cute.
The yoga instructor had the lithe, tight body you would expect, but she had a tomboyish haircut that I didn’t like, with both sides shaved off, and a mohawk/ pompadour on top. I wrote about how her butch haircut turned me off in my post “Femininity Is The Ultimate Female Dating Strategy”.
The flight attendant was a “sassy” Latina. While I loved her olive complexion, and dark hair, she was sarcastic, and somewhat combative.
She was also a little chubby for her diminutive height. She was barely 5’3.
The best of the bunch was the massage therapist.
She was pretty, and she adored me.
She was laid back and loved to laugh, with a sweet, feminine demeanor that was easy to like.
We had many hobbies in common: hiking, cooking, dogs, etc, and got along great.
We dated a full year, and I have written about that relationship in several posts on this blog, during that time.
While a great girl, there was still one challenge holding me back from feeling fulfilled by our relationship.
She was a great girl, but was too voluptuous, and showed signs that she would eventually likely gain A TON of weight, as soon as she thought the pressure was off.
Did I Work Hard For This?
Increasingly, I was nagged by the feeling that I had worked SO HARD, investing years of my life into understanding women, hours upon hours training in the gym, and hundreds of dollars on even low cost first dates… to be dating women that still weren’t my ideal type.
That frustration, with being the best finished product I could put together, and STILL not being able to regularly date the type of women I wanted, is what led me to trying sugar relationships, through the site Seeking Arrangement, or Seeking.com.
If you are a handsome, charming, successful man, who is also frustrated with the options you are meeting on traditional swipe apps, and in person, becoming a sugar daddy might be right for you.
This Lifestyle Is Not For Everybody
Most people are average.
In Western countries, "average" is in debt, overweight, frustrated, hates their job, not really into their girlfriend, if they even have one.
Average is lonely, isolated, and miserable.
If they're satisfied with that, good for them.
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-Chance