Comment of the Week: "Men Still Want Me"
This week’s Comment of the Week, is from female reader, Jenny, who felt so inspired by one of my posts, that she was compelled to leave this insightful thought.
Why would I care what an old woman thinks of my men’s self-improvement blog
The telling thing about this comment is where this woman wrote it.
She left this post on the most popular article on the blog, “Why Men In Their Thirties Are Still Single”.
Why would a happily single woman be researching an article about men that refusing to settle down?
She gets (sexual) interest from men of all ages.
Men are horny, and due to rampant hypergamy, many men have fewer options than ever.
So, they will lower themselves to hit up an almost 50 year old woman for sex.
However, she obviously doesn’t get called back the next day, or else this woman wouldn’t be frantically Googling men’s commitment-phobias.
Information from the top dating apps shows that their are 3 or 4 male accounts for every 1 female.
Short supply on dating apps have men (who don’t know any better) fighting over barely attractive, entitled, delusional women.
In such circumstances, many men feel they have to take what they can get, resigning themselves to date divorced women well past their prime.
There’s nothing wrong with this strategy.
In fact, I encourage it.
Nothing attracts women to a man more than knowing that he already has other women.
In order to build confidence and be “smooth” with women, a man must practice.
Seduction is multiple steps.
The better you are at the smallest aspects, such as unhooking her bra with one hand, putting on the condom, and inserting himself, without disturbing the “flow” of sex, the better impression you will leave.
It’s ok if you aren’t smooth at first.
No one is.
It takes practice to get to that point.
Older, less desirable women are the perfect opportunity to get those reps in.
It Only Takes Time
I was recently counseling a client in his early twenties.
Like almost all men that age, he is having challenges attracting the type of experiences with women that he desires.
The ten year stretch between puberty and mid-20s can be a frustrating, demoralizing trial for men.
He is filled with the highest testosterone levels of his entire life.
Despite his body’s unrelenting demand for sex, the young man unfortunately has none of the qualities that attract women to him.
Young women are drawn to good looks, social status, and financial success.
Barely out of puberty, young men are typically cursed with scrawny, underdeveloped bodies that lack the muscle mass and bone structure of older men.
They haven’t had time to build the social currency, career accomplishments, and financial resources that mature men can boast.
Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, the young man is a soft, formless mess.
Women his age chase older men with strong jawlines, sports cars, and nice apartments.
The only positive aspect of this bleak time period is that it’s temporary.
All men must experience this struggle, and it’s good that we do.
Fighting through the pitfalls of young adulthood are where a man earns his confidence, maturity, and self-determination.
It sucks, but no man gets to shortcut or leapfrog over this time, any more than you can omit January from the year by ripping the page off the calendar.
However, if the young man grits his teeth, tucks his chin, and gets to work, he will emerge on the other side as a more attractive version of himself than he can ever dream.
It only takes time.
Older Women, Younger Men
During this trying time, which all successful men that ever lived have conquered, the young man should focus on mastering what he can control.
I encourage younger men to get romantic and sexual experience by dating older women.
Due to a modern divorce rate well over 50%, there are more of these seasoned women available than ever before.
In an earlier time, women in their 40s would be content to bake brownies for their children’s school fundraisers, and bring orange slices to the soccer practices.
They drove the family minivan to Walmart and Target, then headed home to calmly watch “Oprah” every afternoon.
By contrast, modern middle-aged women destroy their families, bankrupt their husbands, and emotionally damage their children, to whore themselves out on dating apps, to younger men who will never take them seriously.
For more information on this topic, read my post “Why Older Women Date Younger Men”.
Age Difference
I’ve had the pleasure of dating older women twice in my life.
I’ve told this story often on the blog, but I met an attractive 30 year old nurse when I was a scrawny college student. We were together over a year.
At the time, I was still living at home, working a part time job at a snack stand, and borrowing gas money from my dad.
She had to teach me how to drink wine, and sneak me into bars.
Despite our difference in age and experience, the mature woman and I had one important thing in common:
We were both horny as rabbits.
Ravaged On Sight
None of the typical issues that plague relationships were a problem for us.
She would leave work late, often at odd hours.
I would drive across town in the 15 year old Honda my dad had bought me as a college car.
In the damp nights, I would slip into her front door.
She would ravage me on sight.
Her favorite way to greet me was by pulling me into the apartment, pushing me up against the closed door, and dropping to her knees right in front of me.
She would be tugging at my zipper before bothering to say “Hello”.
A Perfect Match
Sexually, an older woman and a young man are a perfectly matched.
I was inexperienced and naive, but also young, dumb, and full… enthusiasm. (Haha).
This mature older woman blew my mind.
She touched, tongued, and rode me in ways that I hadn’t even imagined in my dreams.
She would spoil me, cooking big meals and getting me drunk with wine. (At 19, I was a lightweight, and still am.)
I was a toy to her.
I loved it.
Conclusion
The most popular comment on my post “Why Men In Their Thirties Are Still Single” is some version of the claim, “I’m 40+ and men still want me!!!”.
If that’s true, how do these women find themselves reading a post explaining why men don’t want to commit?
The internet is vast. There are BILLIONS of websites currently online, on topics from world politics, crypto investing, philosophy, fitness, and raising chickens.
Why would SO MANY women, with SO MANY options of eligible men beating their door down for a commitment, be reading a post about why men don’t want relationships?
-Solitary Beast