Why You Should Keep Dating, Even When You Feel Like Quitting
You pull your phone out of your pocket and open Hinge, expectant.
You uploaded new photos, and haven’t checked in a few days. Surely there will be some good news…
However, instead of a bevy of cute blondes vying for your attention, your updated profile has actually yielded zero matches, zero new likes, and an inbox as barren as a the womb of a 40 year old feminist.
You sigh deeply.
Discouraged, but still hopeful, you navigate over to Tinder, where your only incoming attention is from a lone, blue haired, BBW.
Her profile shows a crooked smile, kind eyes, and the familiar, obligatory, “My kids are my world”.
Disappointment punches you in the gut like a heavyweight fighter.
You feel like throwing your device across the room.
After weeks or months of frustration, you want to give up on your dreams of dating, relationships, and intimacy with women.
Here’s why you shouldn’t.
You’re Always Gonna Want to Have Women In Your Life
Even if you think you’re tired of the disappointments of dating, and want to stop trying, your biology won’t let you.
As long as you are a healthy adult male, you will wake up every morning with a reminder that your primary objective in life is finding a woman to be intimate with.
Anything else you could spend your time on: cold showers, intermittent fasting, building an online business, etc., are just a distraction.
You are on this planet to survive, and replicate.
Nature herself will never let you forget it.
Even men who have sworn off dating and women still watch every Casey Zander video, commenting every day about how they have sworn off dating and women.
I get that it sucks, and have written about it extensively.
However, it can’t be avoided.
No matter how obese, obstinate, and ornery “modern women” get (worse every day, unfortunately), you will still be biologically driven to want to be with one.
The best course of action is to adapt to the changing environment, devise a plan, and figure out how to get this handled.
You’re not trying nearly as hard as you think you are.
Don’t Quit: Change Your Approach
If whatever you’re doing isn’t working, try anything else.
Most guys lazily throw some selfies on one dating app, get very little, or zero interest, then retreat to the Youtube comments to whine about “modern women”.
You’re not trying hard enough.
This isn’t America in the 1960s, where everyone was just issued a pretty teenage bride to cook and clean for them, the day after they graduated from high school. (Which, for the record, is the only era in human history where that has happened)
In the 2030s, and beyond, you’re gonna need to work for every piece of pussy you get, like most men throughout history.
That’s it.
I could end the article here, but I feel compelled to continue on this topic.
You are looking at one short time period in thousands of years of recorded human history, and crying “average guys can’t get girlfriends”.
There are several strategies you could try, and you’re probably not doing any of them particularly well.
-Maximizing dating apps: high quality photos, a curated profile, try several different iterations until you find one that works
-Using every dating app you can find: Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Feeld, Match, FarmersOnly, etc., whatever else is popular in the future.
-Looksmaxxing to the highest degree (become as physically attractive as possible for you: fashion, haircut, grooming, cologne, shoes, physique, skincare)
-Lose weight (I can guarantee 90% of guys reading this could dramatically improve their appearance by losing 20 pounds, maybe more)
-Add Muscle Mass: unfortunately, women are not going to come running after you just because you lift weights a few times a week. If they do, they’ll be 40+ and built like an NFL offensive tackle. Gaining muscle mass improvs your confidence, increases your testosterone, subtly improves your looks, makes clothes fit better, and makes you look more like a “Guy Who Fucks”. To appeal to the female gaze, being lean and athletic (Brad Pitt in Fight Club) is more attainable and widely attractive than being a big, formless, blob of overdeveloped chest and arms.
-Become a Situational Alpha: This is the biggest cheat code nobody is talking about. Women are biologically programmed to be attracted to men who lead others. This is why bartenders, guys in bands, and DJs always get more female attention than they can handle. Just become a leader, in anything. Nothing is stopping you from bartending on weekends, becoming a yoga teacher, or Latin dance instructor. It will cost a few nights a week that you would have spent complaining on the internet anyway. The benefit of automatically triggering attraction in every woman that walks in the door is worth it. Simply pick a thing that the type of women you are attracted to would be interested in (yoga, Pilates, dance), and watch the IOIs roll in. For more on this, read this article: “Why Chasing Women Doesn’t Work, and What Does”
-Social Media: Get your DMs popping by creating content. Become a big fish in a little pond by creating content in a narrow area. Niche down enough, and you don’t need tens of thousands of subs to get a result. For example, I had women messaging me first, from videos I made on a Youtube channel with only 2K subscribers. I used to make videos about being black living in Utah. A few women found my content, thought I was attractive, and reached out to me in the comments and via email. I made friends with one, a very attractive light skinned black woman, and had a brief romantic connection, (a hook up), with a second. For this to work effectively, focus on making hyper local content in your city.
Do It For Yourself
By now, some of you are already getting resentful.
“I have to do ALL THIS, just to get an average looking, feminist woman??”, you whine.
Well, no.
You have to do ALL THIS, consistently, for months or years, just to get **a chance** with an average looking, feminist minded woman.
Nothing is guaranteed.
You could weight train for years, pack on 30 pounds of muscle, become a head bartender and a lead yoga instructor, and still not get a girlfriend (although that’s obviously unlikely)
If you did all that, which is obviously magnitudes more effort than your grandfather or father would have had to do, you will win a chance at paying for dates, and being continuously shit tested by a woman not nearly as feminine and submissive as your grandmother.
Wouldn’t improving yourself, pursuing hobbies outside of work, and building a rich, social life be worth it- even if you never got a shred of female attention as a result? (which is unlikely anyway)
You’re still alive on the planet, make the best of your life by doing everything you can to enjoy it.
At the very least, you’ll be good looking, locally famous, and have a ton of friends to hang out with, while being sex deprived and lonely.
Don’t take women so seriously
You’re getting hurt because you’re allowing your ego to get invested in another (fickle) human being, rather than focusing on God and fulfilling your life’s work.
You are on Earth for a reason, to cure cancer, save the rainforest, or be a loving, positive role model for the children in your life.
As much as you’re tired of hearing it, your God given mission and purpose needs to be your primary focus.
If you kept your mission, and service to God, first in your life, women would stick around longer, and you wouldn’t be as crushed when they inevitably leave.
You would have a stronger north star anchoring your identity than the tempermental approval of a notoriously emotional, irrational, and selfish person.
Conclusion
If avoiding women and living in a cabin the woods worked, I’d advise it.
I have tried living in isolation, not dating, spending cold nights alone and unloved.
That time was the most depressing few years of my entire life.
Like it or not, humans are social animals, who cannot fully enjoy life without connection with others.
Six months of working on your dating: dieting, lifting, upgrading your fashion, socializing, and getting help dialing in your profiles, will yield better results than 6 months of sitting in seclusion, not trying, and complaining under Casey Zander videos.
You’ll just be even more lonely, isolated, and sex starved, which is an even deeper hole to climb out of, than if you just started now.
I’ve found the best way to deal with women is to always have more than one, and never get too attached to any of them.
It’s easier to get women when you have a woman, so just start there.
In short, until you cut your balls off, or die, you will always want to have women in your life.
Get better at getting women.
That’s it.
-Chance