Modern men can do anything but be mid

You have more options lying before you than at any other time in human history.

We don’t think about it, because it’s ubiquitous at this point, but you have a device in your hand that you could use to learn a dozen musical instruments, master hundreds of languages, become an expert in anything you could think of, from wilderness survival to Greek philosophy.

But we mostly use it to buy junk and watch pornography.

In the modern era, men are not bound by parental expectations or societal norms, of any kind.

It’s culturally “uncool” for your parents, or members of your family to judge you for doing your own thing, and so they don’t.

Everything- from a polyamorous marriage to moving to Thailand and joining the circus- is on the table.

However, in an era where ANYTHING is possible, and easier than ever, the majority of men choose to do… nothing.

Everything But the Girl

You can do anything you want with your life, unless it it involves the (long term) cooperation of a woman.

This is where a lot of guys get stuck.

You can become a helicopter pilot, a SCUBA diving instructor, an Instagram influencer, or a Navy SEAL.

The one thing you probably won’t get to do, is be a husband and a father, unless you are already either of those titles.

Put simply, if you haven’t already procreated, and have not yet found a woman willing to marry you- you probably never will.

Birth and marriage rates are dropping all over the Western world.

Women also have a wide variety of life options available to them, and as a result, most of them are choosing not to be loving wives and mothers.

If you do find a woman that wants to be a mother and a wife, she’ll be 40+, pre-menopausal, and racing the clock to get impregnated with one of her last few viable eggs.

It’s Easier to Be Amazing than Average

The one life option (probably) not available to you is the suburban dad arc: stable corporate job, playing catch with Junior after work, driving a wood paneled family station wagon.

You are more likely to meet a woman that would agree to be in an “ethically non-monogamous” relationship with you, than submit to being a traditional wife and mother.

What else can you do?

What are your dreams and goals outside of needing a woman to agree to bear your children and bake apple pies in a sundress and apron?

Literally just pick something.

The clock is ticking, and years will slip away while you’re still trying to figure it out.

The best way to discover what you do want, is to experience what you don’t want.

Try something: travel, career change, open relationships, whatever.

And you’ll figure out what you like, and what you don’t, in the process.

I recommend just choosing a far fetched hobby or interest you have always been curious about, and diving in headfirst.

Find a Brazilian jiu jitsu school and go to the free introductory class.

Buy a cheap motorcycle and sign up for the road training course.

Book a last minute flight to a state on the other side of the country that you have always fantasized about visiting.

Any of these is better than another boring weekend, riding the couch, scrolling Reddit or Pronhub.

Alternative Strategies For Having Children

You can also have children without a (Western) woman.

Through adoption, surrogacy, or relocating abroad and finding a more traditional woman in another country (and the window is closing on this option, as even women in developing countries are exposed to American social media.)

You can also become a very involved uncle, volunteer as a tutor or coach, or work directly with children as a teacher or mentor.

Tell Your Story

Some of men’s longing for an intimate relationship is the innate human desire to feel seen, heard, and understood by others.

We want someone we can share our ideas and opinions with, a sounding board for our thoughts and feelings.

Instead of pouring your heart out to one person, meet your need for connection by broadcasting your emotions with the whole world.

Your options include creating a podcast, blog, Youtube channel, or writing and performing music.

Get that conspiracy theory, Lord of the Rings fan fiction, or human biodiversity opinions off your chest.

It’s a strategy to get your ideas into the world, and to connect with people all over the world who share your experiences, like I’m doing here.

Conclusion

It’s harder than ever to become a regular middle class American dad, but it’s exponentially easier to do anything else.

Don’t put your life on hold waiting for something that is (most likely) never coming.

Find an adventure, literally anything, to pour yourself into.

Document your process along the way, with social media, podcasting, etc.

The world is waiting.