Loneliness Is A Cold Bitch

In the last 10 weeks since my breakup, I’ve joined a climbing club, started training Brazilian jiu jitsu, and tried 3 different dating apps.

My strategy is to implement the strategies from my recent article “The Key to Finding A Girlfriend In Your 40s”, and to stay as busy as possible.

On the dating front, I swiped through hundreds of profiles.

Sent opening messages to dozens of women,

and got far enough to ask a few of them to meet up.

I ended up seeing only one woman, a cute blonde 10 years younger than me.

She has a quirky, fun personality, beautiful blue eyes, and seemed very interested in dating me.

However, physical attraction wasn’t there for me (she is a little heavy), and I asked her if we could be friends.

Transitions

The transition from feeling warmly embraced in a loving, supportive, fun relationship with a woman I adored, to the cold, impersonal act of swiping through strangers on my phone has sucked, to say the least.

I don’t like being single.

I got accustomed to hearing a woman’s soft voice, smelling her hair, feeling her warm body wrapped around me.

I’d already found the woman I wanted to spend time with, now I was spending nights alone, and searching for commonality in the profiles of a bunch of disembodied heads.

Ultimately, my breakup was mostly initiated by me, I pulled away due to things I didn’t like in now my ex-girlfriends life situation.

I second guess that decision every second of almost every day.

Cliche Advice Doesn’t Work

None of the typical (unhelpful) platitudes have helped.

I have friends, all of whom have careers, children, and their own girlfriends or wives.

Great guys, but they really don’t have time to hang out more than once or twice a month.

I have plenty of hobbies that bring me excitement and joy.

It’s all cope in comparison to being curled up on the couch, watching Top Chef, with my girlfriend cuddled close to me.

Hanging out with a romantic partner is more fulfilling than almost anything else you could be doing.

We shame guys that get fat and soft in relationships with women, but it makes sense.

That’s why men in relationships often start ignoring their friends, quit weight training, and stop doing the activities they used to do for fun.

(Ironically, having hobbies and friends is even more important in a relationship, where the woman is still constantly evaluating you, and deciding if she can do better.)

A woman that “loves” you, still needs to see you maintain friendships with other men, who esteem you highly, and will be more attracted to you if she misses you over the weekend when you go camping with your buddies.

Conclusion

Being single sucks.

I used to enjoy it, or at least be able to make the best of it.

However, compared to being in a relationship with my version of a 8 or 9/10 woman, who treated me like a king (affectionate, encouraging, supportive, passionate, loving, etc.), being on my own is like being exiled in Siberia.

I don’t even want that specific woman back, I just want to get another intelligent, fun, super sexy girlfriend that is crazy about me.

Life is about giving and recieving love.

Nothing else matters.