Dating A Single Mom: She’s Not Yours & You Barely Get A Turn
“You’re never gonna get your own, personal woman”, intoned Coach Greg Adams on one of his legendary live streams.
His prophecy hit me like a punch in the gut.
It stung.
I knew he was right.
The days of locking a beautiful princess up in a castle, like Rapunzel, are relics of the past, like the drawbridge, the moat, and horse drawn carriage.
Those days are not coming back.
Today’s women have careers, gym memberships, and 30K followers on social media.
Even if you are able to attract and date a woman, she’s never really “yours”, although during the best of times, it might sometimes feel like she is.
Other Bulls In the Ring
As a great man (Me), once said:
“Female romantic and sexual attention is the most valuable commodity on Earth,
after oxygen and water”.
Speaking of earth, every man on your face if it, over age 12, is being driven by a force as powerful as gravity to be with women.
MGTOW, monk mode, and the “Free Agent Lifestyle” have their use cases, but are temporary solutions at best, delusional cope at worst.
Physically and emotionally healthy males desire to be with women.
Period.
Even men who have sworn off women and are “going their own way”, still jump on Youtube, podcasts, and blogs to talk about women every single day.
Every man alive wants a woman, or wants another one.
As a result, when you are dating an even barely attractive woman, there’s always:
horny co-workers,
lustful guys at her gym,
thirsty dudes sliding in her DMs-
ALL trying every tactic, strategy, and line they can think of- to fuck her.
It Gets Worse
The next level of hell is men who have already slept with “your” woman, and have her number, such as ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands.
These are men who ALSO want to fuck the woman in your life, and are even more of a threat:
1. they have a history together, and
2. they can get her on the phone.
The Baby Daddy
Finally, the ultimate boss of Dudes That Want To Fuck Your Girlfriend, is the father of her kids.
If you date a woman with children, especially if they are elementary school age or younger, their father is a constant presence in her life.
Therefore, this other grown man is a constant presence in YOUR life.
If you haven’t figured this out already, the father of a woman’s children could have her back anytime he wants.
It would be as simple as him whispering quietly, “…I want us to be a family again”.
Even if the guy is a complete loser; a deadbeat that never held a job, a 39 year old stoner/ aspiring DJ, or a bartender that lives in a van, those magic words would be enough to melt “your” “girlfriend” like a popsicle on the Fourth of July.
And all three of you know it.
Paul Proteus (RIP), the criminally under-appreciated MGTOW creator, once quipped,
“A woman can get pregnant on accident, but she has a baby ON PURPOSE”.
Becoming pregnant and giving birth to a child are conscious choices for women.
There are dozens of highly effective tools to prevent that from happening, if she didn’t want to.
A woman gives birth to a man’s children because she LOVES him.
The whole nine months, she dreamed of the white picket fence, holiday cards as a happy family, in matching pajamas, posed around the Christmas tree.
She fantasized about being with that man and those children, together on family vacations, Sunday dinners, bedtime stories, and walks in the park.
Out of the tens of thousands of men who ever tried to approach or flirt with that woman, over her entire life, she picked THAT GUY to be the father of her children.
They may break up or divorce down the line, but at the time, she wanted to be in a family with him.
They share the unbreakable bond of bringing a human life into the world together.
Even if the guy deadbeats out and abandons them, the child is a walking, talking, replica of the man she loved.
Every time she looks at the kid or kids, she thinks about that guy.
And here you are taking her to dinner dates and romantic trips, like a clown.
Co-Parenting
Imagine the woman you’re dating seeing her ex, that she respected enough to bear a child for, 4-5 times a week, as they pass the kids back and forth like a football.
A man that nutted inside your girl, dozens or hundreds of times, is in constant communication with her: coordinating Little League games, dentist appointments, and Girl Scouts sleepovers.
As I said, they share an entire human life form, that they created together.
You’re on the outside looking in, trying REALLY HARD to act like it’s “NBD”.
The more you like the woman, the more sickening it feels.
Ever sit down on a public toilet and realize it’s already warm?
More than an ick, it’s enough to b run your stomach.
Favorable Conditions Never Come
In a sermon delivered during World War Two, C.S. Lewis encouraged his fellow Brits to press on through hard times, with this quote:
“Favorable conditions never come”
The PERFECT woman doesn’t exist.
If you hold out for a 10 in looks, with a banging body, long hair, big tits, who adores you, and never heard of sex before she met you,.. you are signing up to die alone.
Especially if you’re over 30.
In the US, 60% of women over 30 are mothers.
But 40, the number jumps to 80%.
Some men instruct others to “avoid single moms”, but that advice simply isn’t practical for most men in their 30s and 40s.
Your best options with women were when you were in your 20s to early 30s, a topic I’ve covered extensively before.
If you're still single after that point, tough shit.
Everyone has previous relationships, past lives, and yes, children.
You’re not perfect either.
I think being a mother is beautiful, and I like kids.
Learning how to manage your own emotions and insecurities (even when they are valid) if an opportunity for growth, if you let it be.
Part of any relationship is accepting the other person’s quirks and flaws, and humbly asking them to accept yours.
As Eckhart Tolle wrote in The Power of Now: “relationships are not here to make you happy. They are here to make you CONSCIOUS”.
Find a woman who is good to you, and love her while it lasts.
Be nice to the kids.
It’s the least you can do for banging their mom