Let Her Go: Top 3 Mistakes Men Make When Women Leave
When a woman is ready to exit your life, there’s nothing you can do stop her anyway.
You don’t have a choice to “let her” do anything.
Whether she’s bored, or tired, or just over it, once a woman decides she’s done with you, it’s over.
She’ll see herself out.
Keep in mind that women end 70- 80% of all romantic relationships.
She’s been handing men their walking papers, either explicitly (“I don’t want to see you anymore”), or implicitly (ignoring their calls and messages), since she was wearing braces.
By “let her”, I mean don’t make the mistakes of chasing her, trying to change her mind, or win her back, after she’s communicated that she’s done with you.
Once your emotions are wrapped up in a woman, letting go feels sharply painful.
You face all the negative feelings associated with rejection: hurt, anger, loneliness, sorrow, depression, the overwhelming emptiness of being alone.
In this tempest of anguish, trying to “fix it”, and get her back seems like the obvious, and only, relief.
However, any action you take in this direction is a mistake.
You will only make yourself seem even less attractive, and push her even further away.
I’ve said before, if a woman wants you out of her life, it’s because you were being un-attractive.
The best way to correct this, if only for your own good, is to start being attractive: calm, composed, handling the rejection like a man.
Difficult as it is, the only winning move is let her walk away, and focus on putting your life back together, without her.
The key is to avoid the common pitfalls that will seem like good ideas to you, in your weakened state.
Again, any action you take to prolong the inevitable will not only fail, they’ll also leave you feeling foolish.
As many wise people have intoned, “Never make someone tell you they don’t want you twice”.
3 Biggest Mistakes
Checking to see if she changed her mind.
One tactic I’ve tried in the past is reaching out to a woman, with a neutral phone call or text message, 2- 3 weeks after the break up.
My tone is pleasant, even keeled, and non-needy. “Hey… I was just thinking about you…”
My thinking is, maybe her feelings toward me have changed over time; maybe she misses me as much as I miss her.
Big Mistake.
This thinking represents a fundamental underestimation of how calculating women are in relationships.
She didn’t break things off with you on a whim.
When a woman leaves a relationship, she’s been planning her exit for weeks or months in advance.
She journaled about it.
She talked it over with her friends.
She consulted her favorite LLM.
Once her decision was made, she lined up the next guy, met up with him, most likely slept with him at least once, to check sexual compatibility.
In short, you’re cooked.
It wasn’t a snap decision, and she’s not going to capriciously change her mind about you, just because you called her.
If she did, you’d be the first to know.
Move on.
She didn’t break up with you to sit at home painting her toenails.
She’s fucked at least one new, or repeat, guy since she dumped you, bent over for him, then turned around and gobbled him up like Ms. Pac-Man.
Why would you even want her back??
Holding On Emotionally
Another big mistake I’ve made in break ups is dragging the lifeless corpse of a dead relationship along for months after it ended.
This means fantasizing about her, talking about her, reading old text threads, gazing longingly at old photos from when we were together, happy, and in love.
This is damaging, as it’s a waste of your valuable time, energy, and focus.
You’re also being a clown.
While you’re romanticizing the woman that coldly rejected you, she’s bouncing on other men, on all fours, doing everything she can think of to please them.
She’s not even thinking about you, and if she does, it’s negative.
Break the habit of thinking about her, and be kind enough to yourself to move on emotionally.
Unfollow her on socials, force her to unfollow your accounts, and do the same for her friends and family.
Seeing her posts and updates will only drive you crazy, or make you sad.
Hide the photos on your phone, or delete them.
Throw away her toothbrush or personal items she left at your house.
My best advice here is to stay as busy as possible.
You’ll slowly start to think about your old flame less and less, until one day, you don’t think about her at all.
Giving Up
After a painful rejection, you’ll feel tempted to “just give up” on relationships and women altogether.
However, quitting will only make you miserable.
As a healthy male, you require female companionship and intimacy to feel happy and fulfilled.
Watch every alpha male, Red Pill video on the internet it you want.
When you turn it off, your deep, unshakeable desire for connection with women will still be there, gnawing at you like a dog on a pork chop bone.
At most, take a break to heal, no more than a few weeks.
Then get back out there.
The thing about sexual desire is it only intensifies with time.
If you avoid women for 6 months, you will only be that much more horny and desperate when you decide to start dating again.
The better strategy is to interact with women before you feel ready.
You don’t have a choice.
This is not about women, it’s about you.
You are at your best when you’re overcoming obstacles, meeting challenges, and working through problems, to impose your will on the world.
Figure it out
You’re smart enough to figure out how to (temporarily) satisfy their requirements long enough to have enjoyable connections with women.
It’s a moving goal post, with seemingly diminishing returns, but again, you don’t have choice.
You desire emotional and physical intimacy in your life, whether you like it or not.
I focus on the fact that accessing relationships with women often requires men to improve our lives in ways that we wouldn’t be bothered to do otherwise: for example, improving fitness, grooming, communication, emotional regulation, and more.
Women, and relationships in general, force you to grow, and growth is the point.
Conclusion
When a woman wants to go, let her leave.
It hurts and it sucks, but if you’re an adult, you’ve felt loss, rejection, and disappointment before, and you’ve survived every time.
This time is no different.
If you’re like me, this isn’t even your worst experience with losing a woman.
I’ve said before that the secret to moving on after losing a relationship are:
Look as good as you can (haircut, cologne, gym)
Stay as busy as possible
Force yourself out of the house, work more hours, talk to as many women as you can.
It’s simply easier to get a new woman and start over than to try to coax an uninterested ex back into your life.
Lock in.
-Chance