I’ve been on a tear recently on Twitter, (@chanceberryman), bullying guys who proudly post screenshots of “flirty” text exchanges with women.

Naively, they imagine that women are as interested in sex and relationships as they are.

Young men (and many not-so-young) believe that digital attention from women, in the form of cute DMs or sending memes, equates to genuine sexual/ romantic interest.

This is the common human trait, solipsism, the fallacy of thinking that everyone else’s experience, and priorities, are the same as yours.

Nowhere is this more true than in the realm of relationships between men and women.

As a man, you are probably not interested in sending flirtatious messages to women you’re not sexually attracted to.

You’re texting her because you want to fuck her.

You may also be interested in learning about her favorite color, smelling her hair, and holding hands while walking through a field of flowers.

However, somewhere in your fantasies of spending time with the woman on the other end of the conversation, you are fantasizing about the sensations of your lips on hers, what that would feel like.

You are imagining the sounds of her moaning softly, her fingernails digging into your back as you pound her, until you explode inside her.

With this is as your objective, you imagine that your cute DMs are like a trail of breadcrumbs, luring your love interest to your doorstep, so that your feverish sexual fantasies can be realized.

YOU are texting her because you want to sleep with her, and because she’s messaging back, you assume she’s on the same page.

For you, exchanging texts is simply a means to an end.

You analyze every message, hoping and wishing for the right time to propose a meeting, the chance to be with your girl, physically, in person. Where sex and romance happen.

On the other hand, the woman in the equation is ALREADY getting what she wants from the deal.

Your attention, calling her “pretty”, sending her memes and jokes, the experience of feeling desired by a man is enough, even if she’s not attracted to you.

In fact, a woman can be 100% certain that she’d never sleep with you, for any reason, yet she’ll still text you back and forth all day, leading you on, getting your hopes up, WASTING YOUR TIME, if she has nothing better to do.

the MORE coquettish, playful texts a woman sends you, the LESS likely that she actually wants to see you, in real life.

Women know when they want to fuck a guy.

If that’s you, she will put herself in position to be alone with you, so that sex can happen.

A woman who is not asking when she can see you, isn’t that interested. It doesn’t mean you can’t raise her attraction, it means her attraction isn’t that high, yet.

Women Aren’t Stupid

They may make decisions that men often don’t understand, but women know when they’re attracted to a man, and they know how to facilitate sex, in the event that they want it.

A woman that likes you, and wants to see you, will invite you to meet up.

She’ll suggest a movie, a restaurant, or, best case scenario, she’ll invite herself over.

I’m far from a “chad”, and I’m not tall, but scenarios like this have happened to me several times in my life.

Every time I experience this, I’m surprised.

I think about the HOURS I’ve wasted approaching, texting, pursuing, and fantasizing about women who didn’t want anything to do with me, contrasted with how effortless it is with women that actually ARE interested.

Women who like you, and want to see you, will make it easy.

Women that have all day to text you flirty banter usually have ZERO interest in meeting up in person.

In fact, if you’ve been texting back and forth with a woman for a few hours, or a few days (I don’t suggest either), the quickest way to get her to ghost you, is to suggest an IRL date or meetup.

Unless a woman is asking, “..so, when are we hanging out??”, she’s probably using you for attention.

If you like texting girls for hours at a time, with no chance of actually fucking them, enjoy yourself.

Just don’t be deluded that “flirting” is getting you anywhere.

5 Reasons She’s Texting You

When a woman wants to spend time with you, she will ask you to hang out, or hint that you invite her over, or take her somewhere.

If she wants to see you, she will bring it up.

In all other cases, she’s wasting your time, for the fun of it.

Most women don’t have hobbies, like weight training, muay Thai, sports, or video games.

They don’t need hobbies, because women use men for entertainment and diversion.

For example, according to many dating app profiles, women consider “witty banter” to be a leisure activity.

If a woman is texting you consistently, WITHOUT seeding a meetup, she is probably:

fighting with a guy she’s ACTUALLY sleeping with
on her period and wants to “feel pretty”
bored
enjoying the attention
deluding herself into thinking you want to be platonic friends

How to Avoid Time Wasters

If you have no hobbies, no interests, no side hustle to work on, and no friends, and simply enjoy texting for texting’s sake, don’t let me stop you.

It’s your life. Do what you want.

However, if you want to filter out women that are simply enjoying your attention, the key is to withhold your digital attention.

When she texts you, reply if you want, then mention getting together sometime soon.

Example: “LOL, funny meme…. I’m working atm, but do you want to get together later this week?” or something similar.

Firmly establish that you don’t have all day to be sending emojis to women that won’t touch your weiner.

This Probably Won’t Work But At Least You Won’t Get Your Hopes Up

This is a “shit, or get off the pot” move.

Your woman will be forced to show her hand, revealing her intentions in the relationship.

Which is only fair, because she already knows yours. (You want sex.)

Her only choices are:

Agree to meet up
Reject your invitation (“…my schedule is crazy right now…”)
Not respond

There is no way to force a woman that doesn’t like you, to be interested.

The fact that she knows you’re interested in her is already more of a turn-off, according to scientific data cited by Coach Corey Wayne, (“Women are more attracted to men who’s feelings are unclear”).

Still, at least you got rid of an attention thief who only wanted to use you to feel better about herself which is a win in itself.

-Solitary Beast

How to Stop Women From Wasting Your Time