When Men’s Dating Options Hit The Wall
The dangerous thing about a half truth, is that it’s also, inherently, half lie.
There IS a kernel of truth to it.
That’s the tricky part.
The lie, or in this case, wild exaggeration, is woven into the inarguable truth.
Each individual must discern for himself which half is real,… and which is complete bullshit.
This comes with time and experience.
This post is about one the biggest half truths in “Red Pill” spaces.
Peak SMV
Many a RP podcaster, blogger, and Youtuber have fired up their livesteaming software, to arrogantly beat their chests, boasting that men reach their “peak SMV” (“Sexual Marketplace Value”, or desirability to women) in their late 30s.
In “The Rational Male”, the undisputed Bible of the Manosphere, Rollo Tomassi states that most men reach their peak desirability at age 37.
He’s got a point.
People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” cover model has been a man over 30, often over 40, even 50 years old, 36 out of the last 38 years, since the first issue was published in 1985.
Women admit that men get often more attractive with age.
The qualities associated with masculinity, such as maturity, confidence, physical strength, financial success, and social status, take decades to both acquire and cultivate. See my post, "7 Ways Men Can Grow More Attractive With Age”. Girls and women date slightly older boys and men their entire lives, from middle school on up until they can no longer qualify for these men’s attention. (At which point they start getting used for sex, excuse me— “dating” younger men, and claiming it’s by choice.) See my post, “5 Signs That A Woman Has Hit The Wall”
Boys start off skinny, pimply, physically weak, financially broke, unconfident,… and essentially useless to women, and society as a whole.
It takes times for a man to create himself.
That’s why so many people (myself included) preach that men “peak” in their 30s. See my post “Why Men In Their 30s Are Still Single”.
While that’s true, from my own experience, and multiple cases that I’ve witnessed from friends, a man’s 30s and beyond may be his prime, but for reasons I’ll explore here, a man’s options with women decline significantly after he passes 30, and fall off of a cliff after age 39.
“Dating” as man of 40+ is useless, unless you aspire to be a stepdad, or a savior to a lifetime woman’s lifetime of poor decisions.
While I frequently dated women 8-10+ years younger when I was in my late 30s, including first night lays with spicy Latinas (See my post “One Night Stand: Sexy Latina”) my BEST, MOST options and experiences with beautiful, younger women, were when I was in my 20s.
We talk about the dating pool as a “sexual marketplace”, but forget to acknowledge that markets consist of both sellers AND buyers.
A man may be lean, athletic, jacked, and successful in his later 30s, but he’s still competing with younger men, for the attention of women.
While a man’s personal peak in life CAN be his 30s, 40s, even later, (if he’s willing to work for it), his best choice of partners is much earlier.
As men age, they can anticipate increased confidence, greater respect in his career, higher earning potential, increased strength, and many other positive benefits.
However his best selection with younger women are often behind him.
In this post, I’ll discuss my own experiences with dating, as well as several cases I personally observed with friends and acquaintances over several years.
Men Have the Most Access to Young Women… When They Are Also Young
If a committed, long term relationship is the path you choose, the ideal scenario is to meet a woman when she is young, fresh, (relatively) innocent, and build a life with her from there.
The relationship will develop to be much deeper than physical lust, eventually growing to involve family, children, traditions, legacy, and more.
However, at its essence, a romantic relationship is about sexual attraction, at least at first, and women are, in most cases, most sexually attractive when they are young.
She will age, and so will you, if you’re lucky.
The important thing is that she had the once in a lifetime experience of youth: vibrant, bubbly, tight, wet, and fun,… and she chose to share that time with you.
Human beings can be desirable and worthy of love at any age.
But if you’ve dated, or even been around enough women, you understand that being with a bubbly 24 year old is a much different experience than talking to a 44 year old woman, even if she has a good personality (which is rare).
Her body is tighter, her spirit is lighter, she’s more carefree, more spontaneous, and more fun.
Younger women don’t want to argue, be right, or brag about their corporate job, which is almost always some glorified title that essentially means “secretary”.
Women in their 20s, when they do date older guys, are looking for guidance, advice, and want to learn from a mature man’s experience and wisdom.
Older women have teenagers, problems, bills, baggage.
They aren’t as appealing, and don’t get as wet.
And while some men may claim they PREFER middle aged women, for whatever reasons, this is more a case of becoming a vegetarian because you can’t afford meat, rather than because you JUST LOVE the taste of soybeans and kale.
Being In Shape As A Man In His 40s
Being lean and athletic at age 40, I’ve found that women flirt, tease, and throw themselves at me…, but those women are ALSO in their 40s, if not older.
When I get attention from younger women, I appreciate the experience. It feels like finding $5 in the pocket of a forgotten pair of jeans- it’s nice, but don’t count on it.
When alpha male podcasters and bloggers boast that “Men’s Peak SMV is Age 37”, I agree.
However, when "Peak” means the highest point.
That means men’s attractiveness can only go down, on either side.
Additionally, when women are at THEIR peak SMV (early- mid 20s),… they’re mostly not looking to date nearly 40 year old men.
Yes, it does happen.
I’ve done it.
The widest age gap I’ve personally experienced, (non-sugar dating) was a dinner date with a 23 year old woman, when I was 36.
She was cute, and the date was fun, but we didn’t have much in common.
As I walked her to her car at the end of the evening, when she hinted at us seeing each other again, I politely brushed it off.
If women are at their best in their early 20s, a man is going to have the most, and easiest access to them, when he’s ALSO in his 20s, but a few years older: 26-29.
A 29 year old man can take his 23 year old ingenue to a bar or a concert, and fit right in.
She sees him as confident, mature, and higher status than the skinny guys her age, still addicted to XBOX and anime.
You don’t remember how much more grown up a 29 year old seemed, when you were in your early 20s.
Of course, women in their 20s often date men in their 30s and 40s.
I personally know a 25 year old exotic dancer/ student in a live in relationship with a handsome surgeon in his 40s.
However, most of the time, when women say they “like older men”, they mean a few years older.
Most women in their 20s are also dating men in their 20s.
We’re talking about probabilities and averages, not outliers and exceptions.
In the United States, the average age of married couples is only 3 years difference, with the man being slightly older.
I’m not arguing that men’s prime ISN’T late 30s.
I’m not stating that men can’t date younger women.
I’m simply acknowledging the fact that the highest probability you have of meeting and dating younger women, is when YOU are also young, just slightly older, rather than 10 or 15 years difference.
When you’re a few (4-6) years older than a woman, you’re a mature enough to stand out to her, but you still have a lot in common culturally in terms of music, slang, and media. You are more likely to hang out at the same places, and enjoy the same activities.
Note: if you read this, then leave a comment about your best friend’s, brother’s cousin’s, stepmom’s co-worker that married a 25 year old Playboy model when he was 75, you have missed the point I’m making here, completely.
2. Male “Peak SMV” Requires Him To Be Married
The most attractive quality any man can have is being in a relationship with a woman.
If you’re reading this blog, you’re familiar with the concept of “pre-selection”, and how critically important this factor is to women, in evaluating a man’s sexual attractiveness.
Women experience sexual attraction almost completely differently than men do.
Where men tend to value physical appearance most highly, at least at the beginning, women overwhelmingly look for other cues to discern whether they find a man appealing enough to engage with, or not.
Remember that women, of all ages, races, body types, attractiveness levels, etc., are the true masters of “abundance mindset”.
No matter how old, worn out, or undesirable you think a woman is, she has an iPhone FULL of guys, fighting for her attention.
Many of those men are taller, more handsome, and more successful than you.
Your opinion of a woman’s attractiveness means absolutely nothing.
If she’s alive, and under age 60, there’s guys hitting her up.
I’ve witnessed this personally, with obese single moms, frumpy, nerdy women approaching retirement age, and “Karens” with mom bods, pushing 50 years old.
If you doubt this, ask a female friend or co-worker to see her Hinge profile, and see for yourself.
Women you wouldn’t look twice at are getting more attention than they can handle, from better looking guys than you, every minute of the day.
But back to my point: for a man to be at his MOST ATTRACTIVE, from the perspective of women, he needs to be not only higher status, financially established, taller, and better looking, he must also be TAKEN.
For a woman to find a man TRULY valuable, she has to see that OTHER WOMEN have recognized him as valuable and attractive.
And there’s no better way to demonstrate this than for a man to be married, especially when his wife is beautiful.
The main reason why men in their late 30s are seen as highly attractive to women, is that by this time, most men will be not only successful and confident, but also married, and raising a family.
The fact that the man is married checks the box of Pre-selection, a necessity in female attractiveness, but his obligations to his career and children also make the man’s time scarce, and as such, much more valuable.
To women, a 37 year old married man that can’t text her back after 6PM, and is only available to see her for a two hours, once a week, is INHERENTLY more desirable than the same guy would be, if he was 37 years old and single, with nothing to do after work than yard work and writing a Red Pill blog. (haha)
3. Most Men In Their 40s Are Dating Women Also In Their 40s
Young women are the most desirable demographic in the market.
Every man would take a beautiful woman in her 20s, over any other option, if he had the choice.
From my experience, these attractive women mostly give THEIR desirable attention to men 3-8 older than them.
When I was a mature man of 30, with the first few gray hairs just growing in, I met a fresh faced college graduate at a friend’s backyard party.
She was 23.
The chemistry was immediate.
We talked all night, saw each other the next day, then dated for the next 4 years.
A guy in his 40s wouldn’t have been at that party, or would have stuck out awkwardly, like a sore thumb, among the younger people drinking and laughing.
Around the same time, I had a roommate, as well as two other friends in their late 20s, get into relationships with 23 and 24 year old women.
If you like younger women, your prime opportunity to meet them was when you were young.
When I use vanilla dating apps, despite being in shape, dressing well, having a career, etc., the majority of my matches are single moms in their late 30s.
Most older men, even if they would PREFER a younger match, are resigned to dating women close to their age, often older.
A small number of very good looking, or very successful older men ARE able to match with and date younger women, but they’re the exception, not the rule.
As a man in your 40s, even if you maintain great physique, have a nice car, successful career, etc., the majority of attention you will get will be from women around your age.
Keep in mind that women are looking to date “up”.
A saggy 48 year old woman perceives an athletic 40 year old man as higher status than her.
The younger women the fit handsome mature man desires see him as a “cool (older) guy”, at best.
Conclusion
Men’s Sexual Market Peak does not correlate to their prime years in dating.
A man’s best options for healthy relationships with younger women, in the majority of cases, will be when HE is also young.
A man in his late 20s to early 30s will still be attractive to younger women, still able to fit in at parties, concerts, and events that younger women flock to, (and still look good in photos on her social media), which is EXTREMELY important to women in their 20s.
While a men’s peak attractiveness is in his mid-30s, the most fun he’ll be able to have dating women who are still bubbly, light hearted, and fun, is long before that.
After that, in my experience, relationships with younger women will be occasional, but not common.
Then again, you can always pay cash.
-Solitary Beast