6 Ways to Build Bulletproof Confidence
Confidence is a gift to yourself.
It’s more than an act, a party trick, or a mask you pull over your face, in order to “win friends and influence people”.
The calm self assurance of complete confidence means freedom from anxieties that plague most people.
Most people waste a lot of time worrying about being “good enough”, belittling themselves for their shortcomings, real or imagined- making themselves neurotic, quivering, and miserable-
because they don’t know the secrets to creating the kind of self confidence that guarantees you never have to feel the shaky fear of self doubt ever again.
In this quick message, I’m going to share 7 keys to transforming your self image from the shadows of uncertainty to the ROCK SOLID, BULLETPROOF CONFIDENCE to take on any challenge, overcome any obstacle, and dominate any problem.
Why am I telling you this?
Like anybody, I wrestle with thinking that my problems are insurmountable, my flaws are unloveable, and that I’m doomed to forever be held back by my shortcomings.
It’s a crappy way to live.
Besides being sheer self-inflicted torture, having low self confidence REPELS potential romantic interests, possible friends, and prospective career opportunities.
However, changing the trajectory of your life, to where you ATTRACT the admiration of friends, dates, and professional colleagues, with a few simple steps.
Read Books On Topics That Interest You, Don’t Just Watch YouTube Videos
Reading books makes you smarter, and more interesting. Men who read understand the world around them to a deeper level. You can also teach women new things, which women love.
Reading fiction, specifically, helps men gain empathy, by increasing the ability to relate to the emotions of others.
Reading improves your focus, memory, empathy, and communication skills.
Reading improves your concentration. Expands your vocabulary, and enhances your knowledge.
2. Watch Stand Up Comedy
This makes you relatable, improves your comedic timing, and helps keep your mood light hearted and fun.
The power of comedy is it’s ability to see the joy and absurdity of the mundane.
3. Take a Break From Social Media
Plenty of good things can come from social media.
You can get exposed to new ideas, create business relationships, some men use Instagram as a dating app, to meet women.
The negative aspect of social media is that it can make people unhappy, because you are comparing the reality of your own life, to the airbrushed, photoshopped, carefully crafted lifestyle they portray on social media.
I wrote about this in a post titled, “Instagram Is Making You Miserable”.
Social media also tends to make people feel lonely.
It’s also a massive time suck. I have an associate that completely cut out social media, and used the new hours of free time to learn a second language.
I wrote about it in my book, (Check it out on Amazon) 30 Dangerous Ideas For Men.
I don’t advocate quitting social media forever, just taking a temporary break, to recalibrate.
The quote from my book is, “Social media is too powerful to NOT use. It’s too powerful to not have a plan.”
Experiment with it.
Take 3 days off from checking social media. Take a week off, see how you feel.
You will find yourself feeling more peaceful, more secure, and more confident.
4. Let the Other Person Talk 80% of the Time
The irony of being considered a “good” conversationalist, is that you don’t have to say much.
Other people like us more when we provide value to them by actively listening, and showing interest by being engaged, as they talk.
Nobody does this, that’s why it’s so powerful.
This is one technique that I use to create instant connections with women. It works in every relationship in your life.
When you listen, without constantly interjecting about your own experience, the person feels heard and understood.
This is a rare and valuable quality that you should practice in every interaction.
Ask questions the person would enjoy answering, then listen intently.
When you show a woman that you are invested in what she’s saying, she feels connected to you.
She feels safe, and that makes her feel attracted to you. She wants to open herself up to you emotionally, which leads to her wanting to open herself up physically and sexually.
A quote from Corey Wayne illustrates this point perfectly.
“When women feel heard and understood, their legs open.”
By giving a woman your full attention, you compel her to want to open herself up to you.
So many men get this wrong, and get this backward. We think that the way to “impress” a woman, to get her to like us, is to talk about ourselves.
We want to brag about our jobs, money, travels, our car- whatever aspect of our lives that we take pride in.
It’s good to be proud of yourself, but to build attraction in women, let HER open herself up to you.
The more I listen to women, the more they make the first move on me.
She touches my thigh, she rests her hand on my arm when she laughs, she scoots closer to me in the booth at the bar.
She leans in, so her breasts graze my arm. She leans in for a kiss.
And I barely said a word.
When a beautiful woman leans in for you to kiss her, with her eyes sparkling, and you can feel the heat and energy rising between you- that will build your confidence more than anything.
5. Earn More Money
Some of my readers get squeamish when I talk about money.
Suck it up.
You’re fooling yourself if you don’t think women get excited by flashy cars, luxury restaurants, and nice things.
Even if you can’t get a Porsche and a private jet on your IT salary, one concrete method to increase your confidence and sense of pride, is to put more zeroes on the end of your paycheck.
Earning more money also decreases negative emotions like fear and worry.
People say money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy safety, security, and freedom.
Money can buy knowledge, information, and time, in the form of getting help with your daily tasks.
When you have a financial cushion in place, you are less worried by the little hazards that pop up in our lives.
You have more options, where you can live, what you can drive, wear, and where you can go.
Some of the most beautiful women on the planet are currently sleeping with average, or even LESS THAN average looking men, because the man has money.
When you have women making themselves available to you, that will undoubtedly increase your confidence, even if it’s your money (in part) that makes you appealing.
Another valuable aspect of money is you can help your loved ones out when they need it.
If a friend comes to you, in a tight financial bind, and you’re able to help them out, that will cause you to feel good about yourself.
Feeling good about yourself makes you stand taller, and increases your confidence.
Conclusion
I know I promised you 6 Ways to Build Bulletproof Confidence… and I am going to stand by my word.
I’m saving my most powerful insight on building confidence, for NEXT WEEK’S post. (Stay tuned.)
This is the back of the napkin guide that will get the ball rolling on increasing confidence in your life.
It’s easy to forget, but this is your one life, and it’s ending second by second.
Make the best of it. Don’t wait.
For more on squeezing all the juice out of life, grab my book 30 Dangerous Ideas For Men In Their 30s, available on Amazon.