Dream Girl Returns?
On an ordinary Monday evening, in late autumn, I headed home after a busy day at a job I love.
My two rambunctious dogs met me at the front door, wagging their furry tails, wriggling and panting with excitement.
I sorted through the days mail until they calmed down, feet on the floor, in a calm “Sit” position. Then I rewarded their obedience with lavish praise and scratches behind the ear.
It was only 5pm, and the December sun was already starting to set.
I jumped out of my canvas pants, boots, and branded company shirt, and into running shoes, sweatpants, and light jacket.
My playlist pumped a mix of EDM, upbeat pop, and R&B as I burned off the stress of the day with an easy stride through the park, and down the running trails near my house.
Surprise
A few miles later, the emails, phone calls, meetings, and deadlines of the day had all melted away.
I peeled off the sweaty layers, splashing into a well deserved warm shower, high off post-run endorphins and dopamine.
Over dinner, I chewed on roasted chicken and fluffy white rice, while scribbling notes in my journal.
I jotted down a few ideas for upcoming blog posts, and podcast episodes, some ideas for the personal training business I want to start, and a reminder to mail my Christmas cards for the upcoming holiday.
Out of habit, I checked my phone.
The screen displayed a single notification, an audio message, from a number I didn’t recognize, that also wasn’t saved in my phone.
Assuming it was some Nigerian prince wanting to grant me a piece of his vast fortune, or something, I clicked the play button to listen.
The message started with a long pause, “…..”, then, “uhmm…Hi, Chance… it’s Brittany…. we hung out a few months ago, well, several months ago actually…..”
My heart stopped.
The room was spinning, but time was standing still.
I almost choked on a bite of chicken thigh.
The message continued, “…I’ve been thinking about you lately… some songs popped up on my playlist that reminded me of you… so, I wanted to reach out”.
I paused the message, feeling… confused.
Was I dreaming, hallucinating, or was this really happening?
See my post, “Solitary Beast Fumbles His Dream Girl, Part 1”
An Apology
Within 30 seconds, my curiosity got the best of me.
I listened to the message again, reading the transcript as the soft voice, with the twinge of Southern drawl, spoke.
I was sitting at my kitchen table, completely at rest, but my heart was beating as fast as it had during my three mile run.
Brittany, the woman who had sent my spiraling into a 6 month self-exploration journey/ existential depression, was reaching out to say she’d been thinking of me, apologizing for disappearing, and explaining that she felt “overwhelmed” by all the changes of leaving a long term relationship, being newly single, dating, sex, and adjusting to her new post-relationship life.
She thought it was “unkind” and “emotionally immature” of her to leave me hanging without explanation, and regretted that she hadn’t talked to me about it. She explained that she hadn’t known what to say.
“…I must sound insane”, she laughed.
Shock
After the message played, I sat in silence.
The furnace clicked on.
I heard the gas burner ignite, the motor of the blower fan start to hum, and felt warm air spread through the house.
My dogs were curled on the floor, at my feet, snoring lightly.
Lights flashed in my window, my neighbors pulled into their driveway.
Car doors slammed, and voices laughed and talked, then went quiet, as they went inside.
I just sat there