How Men Can Overcome Depression
A loyal young reader reached out to me recently.
He explained that he was dealing with emotional challenges, feeling depressed. He asked my advice on what he could do to improve his situation.
The reader is an impressive young man: talented, hard working, ambitious.
He’s paying his dues in the purgatory all men must endure on their path to greatness.
He’s struggling now to earn his glory, the prime years after 30. Read my post “30 Dangerous Ideas For Men In Their 30s”.
For men, life is hard BEFORE it’s easy.
This young man will have to build himself, mentally, physically, in his career, social status, and finances before having the success that he desires with women.
It’s an uphill road filled with potential potholes.
However, if he perseveres, things will eventually level off.
He will have the rest of his life to enjoy the fruits of his labor.
Let me begin by clearly stating that I am not a medical professional.
Any man reading this should consult a mental health professional if he feels he needs help on that level.
In this post, I’m simply sharing things that worked for me to overcome a depressive slump I experienced in my own life.
Things Get Worse Before They Get Better
About a year ago, I was in a depressive rut, that lasted nearly a year.
I was unhappy at work.
My personal life was lonely and isolated.
I experienced a string of romantic rejections that stung my ego.
The interesting thing about depression, as well as success, is that it tends to compound.
If things are bad, they’ll get worse before they get better.
The Downward Spiral
When I was down in the dumps, without realizing, I was making things worse, because of the way I was responding to them.
Work
I was frustrated with my job.
I began showing up late, performed poorly, had an asshole, grouchy attitude with my co-workers.
The result was predictable: my bad behavior led to my co-workers and supervisors treating me badly in return, which then made me hate the job more.
Social Life
I felt depressed, so I didn’t want to go out and have fun.
People would invite me to go out, but I would reject their offers, preferring to stay isolated at home, rather than go out and socialize.
Shutting myself up at home made me feel alienated,
which made me feel bad about myself,
which became a cycle of staying in, feeling bad,
then staying in BECAUSE I was feeling bad.
This played out over, and over again, every weekend, for months.
Even for a natural loner, this type of behavior is unhealthy.
Loners need human connection, like everyone else.
We need human interaction less than other people, but we need to be able to share ourselves with others.
Other people need our unique gifts and perspective as well.
Dating
My romantic life was in a slump at that time as well.
I was meeting women and going on dates, but nothing was clicking.
Women I was attracted to, weren’t interested in me. Women I didn’t care for were showing high interest, but I wasn’t attracted to them.
All guys have been through this at some point in their lives.
Survive and Overcome
It was a dark time in my life, and it sucked.
However, I’m HAPPY that I experienced those challenges.
First, it made me stronger.
Even though I was facing an emotionally tough time, deep down inside I KNEW that I would overcome it, and be better for it.
Life HAS to be hard sometimes.
By surviving and overcoming your challenges, you’ll be able to appreciate that much more when it’s easy.
I Turned Things Around
I persevered, and now my life is better than it’s ever been.
I left my boring job to grow a business in a completely different industry. I’m already earning more money in my own business than I was in my previous job.
I’m seeing a sexy woman who adores me.
My life is full of friends, travel, fun, and happiness.
I knew I would turn it around, and so can you.
Appreciate the Challenge.
Tough times are how you grow as a man.
Understand that struggle and triumph are the path to build the type of confidence that other men respect, and women lust after.
When you know that you can take whatever life throws at you: depression, rejection, loneliness, and more, you will feel an unshakeable sense of strength and power deep inside.
Whatever you’re dealing with right now, KNOW that it’s an opportunity to build that rock solid foundation of masculine self-reliance.
It sucks, but it will only make you better.
The internal tension you are facing right now is the crucible that will make you a man.
Be thankful for the opportunity to achieve your highest potential.
Remember: “Hard times make strong men”
Identify What You Can Change
What are you depressed about?
As author Brian Tracy encouraged, “Think on paper”.
Write down the areas of your life where you’re not happy.
Are you frustrated with your career, your body, your finances, your sex life?
All these areas can be improved.
It’s going to take some work.
However, as a man, you were born to work, to build, and to overcome. It’s going to be awesome.
List the things about your life that you want to change and explain why.
For example, I didn’t like my job because I was bored.
There was nothing more for me to learn about the industry, and I was earning close to the top money for my position.
I was ready for a higher income, and more challenging work.
Once I identified that, I could get to work finding the right new opportunity.
Take Action Immediately
As in RIGHT NOW.
Don’t waste another moment feeling bad.
You have your list of aspects of your life you want to change, start hacking away.
If it’s your body, put your running shoes on and hit the road.
If it’s finances, go through your credit card statement, identify expenses you can immediately cut. Cancel recurring subscriptions right away. Get up from your seat RIGHT NOW and post things for sale on whatever app you use.
If it’s your sex life, read my article “How to Get Girls: 3 Books to Improve Your Sex Life”. Download those books on Audible, and listen to them while you workout.
I’ll repeat Jordan Peterson’s advice: clean your room, make your bed.
Start with the easiest thing you can handle.
Set a timer for 15 minutes and just focus on one thing at a time.
Sweat
It’s impossible to be depressed when you’re pouring sweat from pumping out 100 burpees.
When you workout, pushing yourself to your physical limit, it takes your mind off your troubles.
Exercise spikes hormones that make you feel amazing.
Increasing your heart rate and getting a sweat builds muscle, turns up your confidence, making you stronger, and more attractive.
In fact, if you drop on the floor right now, wherever you are, and push out 30 push-ups, you will feel better instantly.
In Conclusion
Ups and downs are a part of life.
I’ve been through tough times. In fact, we all have. The richest, most powerful, and most successful men on Earth have experienced depression, self-doubt, and loss.
What makes you think you’re too good to face challenges?
If things are great for you now, Congratulations. Understand they could go left at any time.
I already know how to handle challenges, and now, so do you.
-Solitary Beast