Getting The "Woman of Your Dreams" Is A Nightmare
In the happy ending of every movie, the love struck couple kisses in a romantic conclusion.
Dramatic music swells to a crescendo, as a crowd of onlookers cheer, and the credits roll as the couple drives off into the sunset.
Through constant social programming, finding “The One” is presented as the ideal outcome, along with the golden retriever, two kids, and the suburban ranch home with the white picket fence.
It’s what we’re all supposed to want.
However, when you look closely, getting the woman you want is far from the dream it is sold as.
In this post, I’m going to make the case that actually getting the “woman of your dreams”, quickly turns into a nightmare.
There are a few reasons for this.
First, once you get the woman you’ve been fantasizing about, you will be terrified to lose her.
Even handsome, famous, successful men with access to the most desirable women in the world have been heartbroken by the one woman they wanted.
Second, once you have hooked such a woman, you then have to dedicate your life to keeping her happy.
The catch here is that women are famously impossible to please.
Attempting such a task will be a frustrating waste of your time.
This is moral of the story of the Garden of Eden. (Which I’ve explored before in my post titled, “Men and Women Shouldn’t Live Together”.)
In the midst of a paradise, surrounded by perfection, Adam was perfectly content to tend to the animals, and steward the garden, as he was instructed by Yahweh, the Hebrew god.
However, Eve was unsatisfied.
She let a talking serpent beguile her into giving up paradise, for an eternity of toil and pain.
She also managed to talk Adam (innocently trying to keep his woman happy) into going along with her ill fated plan, to make it even worse.
As I also discussed in a recent post “Why Men Go On Dates”, men working to impress women they want, or keep women they have, is the engine of the global economy.
Husbands are on a hamster wheel to provide the housing, clothing, shoes, cars, and vacations their wives desire, or face losing everything, including their children, in a painful, financially disastrous, divorce.
As the family is the backbone of civilization, I commend these men for their sacrifice.
I’ll admit that most men are HAPPIER supporting a family, than they would be as bachelors pursuing the Solitary Beast journey.
The best course of action, if you’re going to be involved with a woman, is to choose one that you don’t like too much.
Seeing a woman you like, but think she’s “nothing special”, is the strongest position to be in.
You’re attracted to this woman, you have fun with her, but it’s not the head over heels emotional roller coaster that people write love songs about.
She’s “nice”.
She’s reciprocating your interest.
The sex is frequent and fun.
Everything is good.
This is the powerful situation that you ultimately want to be in.
You are enjoying yourself, getting your needs met- yet you would be fine if she left, and you never saw her again.
As Eddie Fews wisely advised:
“A woman will stay with you forever, if you don’t care if she leaves”.
You get sex and companionship without the risk of heartbreak or hurt feelings.
The first 50 seconds of this illustrates what I’m talking about here.
True Love
The dizzying cocktail of emotions we call “love”, puts you in a dangerously vulnerable position.
If you are emotionally attached to a woman, and your ego is invested, you have given up the leverage that you need to be outcome independent.
The woman will start to feel that you need her, the kiss of death for romantic relationships.
Hypergamy demands that a woman always be with the absolute best man she can get.
It’s why you see women leave marriages to men they said they “loved”, because the guy lost his job or his business.
It’s why women call Youtube relationship experts for advice on how to hook a man, and the first quality they list is that he earns 6 figures.
They don’t care about his interests, his hobbies, or his family background.
For American women, who make up 80% of consumer spending, drowning in credit card and student debt, resources are the only thing that matters.
Men With Options
Interestingly, even successful men with plenty of options get emotionally entangled with women, suffering depression, anxiety, and sometimes taking their own lives in the process.
Recent examples of this are Kanye West, Jay Z, and Mac Miller.
Kanye West was one of the most famous men on the planet in 2011, when he dropped My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. It was an album dedicated to his tumultuous relationship with former stripper, Amber Rose.
As a multi-millionaire rapper, West had access to ANY beautiful woman, any model, celebrity, actress, etc.
He got himself invested in one woman, and suffered through the torture of heartbreak, just like any normal guy would.
Same with Jay Z. The mogul built himself up from a street hustler in the 80’s, to a self-made billionaire by 2017.
He could have had any woman he wanted, including women younger and more beautiful than his wife Beyonce.
Beyonce is undeniably gorgeous, but Jay had been laying on top of her since “Crazy In Love” was on the radio, in 2003.
I’ll remind you that this was during the first term of the George W. Bush administration.
In 2003, Facebook was a website for college students, the iPhone hadn’t been invented, and Barack Obama was an unknown senator from Illinois. Jay Z hadn’t even started wearing suits yet.
Thirteen years later, you would think he’d be tired of her.
Instead, he wrote an entire album as a humble apology for his infidelity, begging her to give him another chance to do right.
Rapper Mac Miller died tragically in his 20s, after his break up with fellow celebrity, Ariana Grande. He wrote the album “The Divine Feminine” about her when they were still together.
From listening to the record (fantastic and I highly recommend) you can tell that he was hopelessly lovestruck by the young woman.
When the relationship ended, he never recovered.
He spiraled into depression and heavy drug use, finally succumbing to an overdose in 2018.
These are just 3 examples of wealthy, famous men that could easily get another celebrity or supermodel, displaying crippling one-itis for a particular woman.
One-itis
I’ve been with several beautiful, exotic women in my life, a few of which I’ve written about here.
There was a hot, blonde from Sweden that I met while living abroad.
I had an entanglement with a curvy, sassy half Portuguese, half Dutch siren, and seduced a sexy, dark complected American Black woman (my personal favorite).
There is no more powerful social proof than being seen in public with a beautiful woman.
With a desirable woman on his arm, a man wins respect from other men, and furtive glances from women.
Everyone who sees him is thinking the same thing: “Damn, how’d he get her?”.
2004 presidential candidate Dennis Kuchinich, and wife.
There is no luxury car, private jet, or expensive watch that is a bigger status symbol than being able to pull a woman that looks like this, especially when you look like that. Women are objects.
Once you get accustomed to getting props from people everywhere you go, it’s humbling to go back to being your regular old self when the relationship ends.
Not only did the relationship end, but also your ego is bruised and you’ve lost some sense of self as a result of losing your trophy.